Wrestling

WWE Raw Match Ratings For 1/8/18 From Sean Ross Sapp

Opening Segment 

  • "It's………the Big Dog!" Groan.
  • Jason Jordan comes out and gives a cringeworthy-by-design promo and tries to fist bump Reigns.
  • Rollins comes out and tells Jordan to slow his role. Put Jason Jordan in the Hall of Fame this year. He's amazing at this.
  • He says they can beat anyone and they're the best trio ever.
  • The Balor Club is out and Balor says he's been teaming for ten years before Jordan knew who his dad was.
  • Holy shit, they gave Gallows cliff notes of his own career to read. They make Balor Club their official name.
  • Jordan calls them the Champions Club, and gets laughed at. They're booked in a match by a shitty Kurt Angle promo. I'm supposed to believe Kurt Angle didn't have a main event already?
  • The more I see stuff like Mojo Rawley's phone promos, the more frustrated I am with the terrible written promos given to these guys. Run a three minute video package highlighting what they did. 

Sasha Banks & Bayley (w/ Mickie James) defeated Absolution (w/ Paige)
5.5/10

  • Bayley's offense is on point tonight. A great Saito Suplex and clothesline. 
  • Mandy is a really natural heel. Still really green. Bayley had to let her in on an elementary pinning situation. She's sometimes softball things in, too. 
  • The camera work almost leaves me unable to emotionally invest. I see things for a fraction of a second. 
  • Commentary really puts over Sonya Deville. This should be done with everyone on the roster hard until the Royal Rumble.
  • There's a nice double clothesline spot from Sasha and Sonya Deville. 
  • Sasha ends up making Mandy Rose tap out. This was as good as it was going to be with Mandy in the match.

Woken Matt Hardy defeated Curt Hawkins

  • Matt Hardy bites Curt Hawkins' fingers! Then German suplexes Hawkins into the buckles. 
  • WWE production really does the "DELETE" smashes a disservice with the camera zoom. 
  • Twist of Fate wins it.
  • Bray Wyatt shows up, and they laugh at each other.

Miz TV

  • Elias introduces the returning Miz. He has the crowd in the palm of his hand.
  • The crowd is all about the Miz tonight.
  • Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel are trying to one up each other with gifts. A framed picture of Miz, Axel takes his own sports coat off, Dallas gives him a watch. This is great.
  • That's Jake Carter, not the Miz. And he says he wants the IC title back because he's identified with it.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Cedric Alexander defeated Enzo Amore (c) via countout
4.25/10

  • Nia is watching the match practically with her back to the TV.
  • We see how Goldust found out about his MMC partner. Cedric Alexander is backstage with Goldust, who is. straight ripping off Coach Gator's gimmick. How dare he. Cedric cuts a crappy wrote promo.
  • Cedric counters a DDG with a dropkick, or as it's called in WWE — "OH!"
  • A handspring in this situation was pointless. It makes no sense. 
  • Enzo is busted open, and then looks like he hurt his ankle on a Cedric tope con hilo. 
  • He's screaming bloody murder. He's counted out. Gross. 
  • I guess a babyface move is cheesing and celebrating when you just didn't win a championship.
  • Man, Enzo Amore has taken some beatings in the ring.
  • Nia checks on Enzo Amore.

Titus Worldwide (w/ Dana Brooke) defeated The Bar
4.5/10

  • Dana Brooke's Main Event win was cool. Check it out.
  • I'm surprised this match is so competitive. I'd rather they have another partner for Apollo Crews.
  • This doesn't make The Bar seem too prepared for one of the self proclaimed greatest tandems of all time. 
  • This is not a good match at all, but Titus Worldwide pick up a surprise win! I get the feeling it's just so they can get beaten a couple of times heading into the Rumble though.
  • Apollo's moonsault off the apron to avoid Sheamus' kick was neat.
  • Oh my god Titus Worldwide and Dana Brooke have been winning!!!! Dana Brooke's statistical analysis is paying off!

Backstage Crappenings

  • Balor Club is backstage, and they shoot the shiz about good times in Japan. Hot Asian Wife is now in WWE canon, and they shout out Tama Tonga and Bad Luck Fale.
  • Backstage, Miz gets his IC title rematch at Raw 25 and announces his new Facebook reality show. The Bar get their rematch at Royal Rumble.
  • Alexa Bliss is trying to play Asuka and Nia Jax against each other, but Nia is hip to it. Nia and Alexa have great chemistry together. Nia later attacks Asuka and hits her with an Electric Chair Drop.

Lesnar's here

  • Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman out. Heyman makes a good point that the the title match is now pretty much "how can Brock overcome this predicament."
  • Kane attacks Lesnar, and then Strowman shows up and kills them both.
  • No really, they might be dead. He used a grappling hook to pull a huge metal rig onto them.
  • TOO MANY GOD DAMN ZOOMS

Samoa Joe defeated Rhyno

  • Samoa Joe and Rhyno's first singles TV match was in July 2006 for TNA.
  • Joe kills Rhyno.
  • Joe enters the Royal Rumble, and is targeting John Cena.
  • He also explains what a pyrrhic victory is.

Balor Club defeated Champions Club 
5.75/10

  • This is the most I've cared about the entire Balor Club since they came into WWE
  • There were eight camera cuts in the Reigns corner clothesline stop. To be fair, they don't look good, but jeez.
  • Reigns rebounding from a strike to hit a Superman punch is a nice spot. 
  • Seth Rollins gets a nice hot tag, but nobody is there for him to tag when he needs it.
  • This gets really good when it breaks down a bit. Jordan causes the ref to miss a tag.
  • Rollins eats a Magic Killer! Anderson and Gallows attack Reigns, and Jordan stands there like an oaf.
  • Balor beats Rollins.
  • Miztourage attack the NEW SHIELD! Miz's facial expressions are great here.

 

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