Welcome To The Underground: Unique Opportunities

Check out the second edition of Welcome to The Underground on Fightful, by Rob Simmons. This provides you a straightforward look at LU each week, to compliment Alex Pawlowski's coverage. 

The city lights shine brightly, breaking through the black of the night in Boyle Heights. Darkness is King in the Lucha Temple, and tonight is no exception. Violence and pain are on the menu, and Dario Cueto is ready to quell even the heartiest appetite.

But before he has his chance, Rey Mysterio Jr. and his protégé El Dragon Azteca Jr. continue their training. While El Dragon wants the head of Pentagon Dark for attempting to break Rey’s arm, Rey knows that a bigger, more important battle is on the horizon; one they both must be prepared for. As the two Luchadors spar, a familiar face enters the ring; the man known by many as Chavito. Chavo Guerrero Jr. barely gets a word out before the impetuous El Dragon charges him. Chavo, the wily veteran, turns the tables on the young warrior, mounting him quickly and with precision. Chavo tells Ray that he must not have informed Dragon properly of El Familia Guerrero. What Chavo’s business here is, we don’t yet know, but it can’t be good.

In the Temple, Dario Cueto stands next to his infamous “Dial of Doom.” He reminds us that Son of Havoc got his ass kicked so badly that he ran home to his Mother. Tonight, Dario will spin the wheel again, as the Monster Matanza waits at the steps as the wheel slows down. Tonight, the wheel has chosen wisely, as it’s time for the Return of The Mack!

Lucha #1: The Mack vs. Matanza (Lucha Underground Championship)

As Matanza waits near the steps, The Mack comes up from behind him, attacking the Monster from the jump. He quickly hits a Stunner on Matanza, then rolls him in the ring to try and steal a quick pin fall. Unsuccessful, Mack slaps Matanza in the face and hits him with a beautiful Head Scissor takedown. He sends the Champion into the corner and strikes the cold masked face with a Mafia Kick, but again he cannot claim victory. Mack hits Matanza with a Stunner, then goes for a second one, but the Monster blocks it and throws Mack backwards with a German Suplex. The Monster quickly takes over, choking the Mack and raking at his face with his dirty fingers.

Matanza picks up Big Willie in a Pump Handle Slam and throws him over his head. He kicks Mack hard to the head, but he continues to fight on. They trade forearms in the middle of the ring and as Matanza charges, Mack pulls down the top rope sending the Monster hard to the floor. Flying like a Cruiserweight, The Mack sails over the top rope and hits the Champion with a Somersault Plancha. He rolls him back inside and his a big Pounce, sending Matanza to the mat. He ascends to the top rope, ready to hit the big Frog Splash, but Matanza raises his knees, knocking the wind from Mack’s rotund midsection. He quickly picks Mack up and strikes hard with the Wrath of the Gods Slam and a decisive pin fall victory.

WINNER: MATANZA

ULTIMA PALABRA: Dario’s Dial of Doom has claimed yet another victim, but much like Matanza’s match with Havoc, The Mack had some serious chances to score an upset. The advantage is certainly not with the Champion as he has no time to prepare for an opponent, but it doesn’t seem to matter to Matanza in the least. He’s ready to take on all comers, but as the weeks go on it seems as though the Luchadors of the Temple may be starting to figure out this inhuman Monster.

Dario will replace Mack’s name with another the next time the Dial of Doom makes its appearance, and it’s only a matter of time before Matanza is taken down. I cannot think of a fighter, man or woman, that wouldn’t jump at the chance to be the person to defeat Dario’s brother and take a little bit of power away from the Cueto family.

We find ourselves with Son of Havoc, who is unfortunately watching a commercial for Famous B. As the camera pans, we find that he’s hanging out with a man that hates Famous B even more than Havoc does, Mascarita Sagrata. They lament at their recent failures, only to be interrupted by…..Mother Havoc?? Apparently she’s made her son and little friend Bagel Bites. That was …..really strange.

Back in Dario’s office, El Jefe seems to be taking a bit of a rest, only to be interrupted by Johnny Mundo, once again demanding a shot at Matanza’s title. Dario tells him that he’s got a chance for gold tonight, the Trios Titles. Johnny tells him he doesn’t care about that, and tonight he’ll be at his Dojo instead of competing. Johnny storms off, and Taya quickly seizes the opportunity. It looks like she’ll be taking Mundo’s place tonight with Jack Evans and PJ Black.

Lucha #2: Texano vs. Cage

Before the bell can ring, El Jefe comes out again, telling both men he respects their fighting ability but they both lose in the Ultima Lucha II Tournament. Therefore he’s offering not a “unique” opportunity, but the “Ultimate” opportunity. All they have to do to find out what it is, is win the match. The bell rings and Cage quickly establishes mat control over Texano. He sends Texano to the corner, but Texano moves and snaps Cage’s neck off the top rope, followed by an Enziguri. Texano goes outside-in with a Somersault Senton onto Cage. Cage strikes back, sending Texano over the top rope. The Machine takes flight with a Somersault Plancha, landing hard on Texano neck and shoulder area. He sends him back in the ring, but cannot score a pin. Cage hits a Neck Breaker, taking advantage of the damage he caused, but again cannot keep Texano down.

Quickly, the Machine turns Texano over into a Modified Boston Crab, bending Texano almost in half. Texano reaches the ropes, breaking the hold, but he’s noticeably winded. Cage hits a German Suplex, but his attempt at a second is reversed into an Ankle Lock. Cage now is the one to reach the ropes, breaking the hold. Texano hits a Clothesline, followed by a Spinning Heel Kick and a Tilt a Whirl backbreaker. Cage strings together some beautiful combos but Texano sneaks in a Small Package for a pin attempt. Out of nowhere, Cage hits a vicious Discus Clothesline and steals the 1-2-3 victory.

Dario returns from his office telling Cage that if he wants to know what he’s won, he’ll have to beat Texano 2 MORE TIMES, as this is now a BEST OF 5 SERIES. Once again, El Jefe changes the rules to suit his own twisted whims.

WINNER: CAGE (1-0)

ULTIMA PALABRA: For a while this was a bit of a slow, plodding affair, as most matches with Texano tend to be. The former AAA Champion still hasn’t caught on with the Believers like he did in Mexico, and tonight he seems particularly in bad form. He seemed winded, a step off, and just not in sync with Cage at all. Unfortunately that hurt this match greatly. Now we’ll have to see at a minimum, 2 more matches with these two, probably more.

I love Cage as a competitor, and he normally brings great action to the ring, but I really don’t want to see these two go at it anymore, but it looks like that is what we shall be seeing. The last time we had a Best of 5 Series, Drago won a shot at the title, with the stipulation that if he didn’t win he was gone from the Temple. Most should know by now, El Jefe’s “opportunities” almost never work out in the favor of those who capture them.

El Jefe’s office is busy tonight, but the Boss still has time to open his mail. From a brown box he extracts a 423-GET-FAME had which he quickly discards. But it’s a plain manila envelope which grabs his attention, which inside contains various black and white pictures, but their location is unknown. Dario throws them into the trash as El Dragon Azteca Jr. barges in. He wants Pentagon Dark. Dario says he’d prefer a rematch with Black Lotus, but she has returned to Hong Kong, so he’ll pencil in the match for next week.

Ricky Mandel, yes Ricky Mandel enters Dario’s office looking for his next match. He notices the black and white photos, now mysteriously back on Cueto’s desk. Dario is taken aback and gives them to Ricky to get him out of the office. Just as he leaves, yet another makes his way in uninvited, Chavo Guerrero. He tells Dario they need to talk as we return to the ring for our Main Event.

Lucha #3: World Wide Underground vs. Fenix, Aerostar and Drago (Trios Championship)

Striker quickly notices the absence of Johnny Mundo, as Taya takes his place. Evans looks to start against Drago, putting his bandana around his eyes, ready to fight. Before any action takes place, PJ tags himself in, then Taya tags herself in. We’ve had three tags, and zero action at this point. Wera Loca grabs Drago in a headlock, reversed by Drago as the two trade holds. Drago strikes some kicks, but Taya hits an Arm Drag as the two are in a stalemate. Outside the ring, the Dragon Slayer is being a bit of a bitch, refusing to tag in and generally whining about the match.

It’s now PJ vs Aerostar, as the Spaceman walks the ropes and sends the Darewolf across the ring with a classic Lucha Libre arm drag. He flies off the top rope with a Corkscrew Press. Aerostar attempts a Tilt a Whirl DDT, but PJ catches him in mid-air, turning it into a Vertical Suplex. Fenix is now in, kicking PJ back into his own corner. Jack tags in, but AGAIN he refuses to fight, tagging back out to Taya. Fenix hits a Palm Strike to Taya, followed by a kick to the head. PJ is back in again, but takes a Double Stomp to the back of the head. Finally Evans tags in for some action, taking down Drago with a shot to the back of his legs. Black slaps Jack HARD across the back, tagging himself in. He hits a Moonsault off the top rope, but no pin. PJ tries it again but misses the second attempt.

Evans returns PJ’s slap across the back for the tag, but continues to avoid the fight, this time sliding outside the ring. Taya, taking matters into her own hands, drags Evans back to the ring by his hair. With PJ in the ring, the Trios Champs unload on PJ with Triple Team moves; a Helluva Kick followed by Double Knees. Fenix and Drago end up outside the ring, leaving PJ alone with Aerostar. Taya flies off the top turnbuckle onto the two Champs below. Aero hits PJ with a Top Rope Hurricanrana, followed by a Slingshot Codebreaker for the victory. Outside the ring, Jack Evans continues to pout, sitting on the Temple floor, sulking like a small child.

WINNERS: FENIX, DRAGO AND AEROSTAR

After the match Johnny Mundo strikes, taking out the Champs with the assistance of Black and Taya, but before they can do much damage Sexy Star charges the ring, assisting her friends much like they helped her before.

ULTIMA PALABRA: There’s some obvious dissention in the ranks of the World Wide Underground as PJ Black and Jack Evans were arguing like an old married couple. Evans barely had any action in the match, refusing to fight for much of it. He pouted and sulked as the Darewolf and Taya took the brunt of the action. I’m not entirely sure what’s going on in the camp of the WWU, but if they don’t get their act together the once seemingly unbeatable team will almost surely combust.

The question next is who will step up to challenge the Trios Champions for the belts. There currently aren’t many Trios teams together, so it looks like we’re going to see some new configurations coming soon to challenge Fenix, Aerostar and Drago. There three together are quite the formidable team, and it will take a strong Trio to step up to the plate to take the belts.

Before we leave the Temple, we return one last time to Dario’s office, as Rey Mysterio Jr. has come to discuss his protégé’s request for a match with Pentagon Dark. Rey tells Cueto to erase it from the books, and Cueto agrees, only to replace it for a match next week with Chavo Guerrero; the winner to get a shot at Pentagon Dark. Rey says Azteca isn’t ready for that either, but Cueto says it will happen, but to calm Mysterio he decides to make him the Guest Referee, which he decides to make official, writing it in pen. Next week, it’s El Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. Chavo Guerrero with Rey Mysterio Jr.s as Guest Referee.

Until next Lucha,

Roberto Out!