Off Track with A-Train: Title Match Announced For Monday’s WWE Raw, Time Is A Flat Circle

Welcome to another edition of

Off-Track With A-Train

Where I put my own irreverent spin on today's news.

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Someone once told me that Time is a Flat Circle.

It's never been more true than it is right now.

We're all spiraling down a whirlpool of nothingness where nothing changes and everything remains the same and Monday Night Raw is going to keep giving us the same matches over and over and over and over AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER until we all die from old age, still in front of our televisions, muscles atrophied from disuse because we hoped in vain, always in vain, that Monday Nights would get good again.

And they never did.

This is where they broke me, friends and neighbors.

This is where I was broken.

HAS THERE BEEN A DECREE THAT I NEVER HEARD ABOUT?

A DECREE, SENT DOWN FROM ON HIGH, THAT ROMAN REIGNS MAY ONLY WRESTLE KEVIN OWENS OR CHRIS JERICHO?

or in this case, if you click the link in that Tweet, which was certainly only sent out to mock my pain, it turns out Roman will be defending the US Title against Jeri-KO at the same time, IN A HANDICAP MATCH.

A handicap match that he will almost certainly win, because hashtag Roman Reigns Never Loses.

And at this point, I almost wouldn't care, as long as he was beating different guys each week.

But it's gotten ridiculous.

Roman vs Chris Jericho has happened six times on TV since November 7.

Roman vs Kevin Owens has happened eight.

So here we are. 

Roman Reigns vs Jeri-KO in a Handicap Match.

And if he wins, WHEN he wins, he will have beaten both the Universal Champ (who should be, by default the most important and unbeatable guy on your roster, because, you know, he's the champ), plus another main-eventer (doing some of the best work of his career), at the same time. Which means no one else has a chance against him.

Except maybe Braun.

We can all hold out hope for that, I guess.

As we sit in front of our televisions, waiting in vain, always in vain, for things to change.