Sean Ross Sappdown Live 9/12: Match Ratings, Analysis, More From A Loaded Show

Kevin Owens DA GOAT

• Kevin Owens comes out and carries a great ten minute promo, talking about the changes he'll make when he owns Smackdown Live.
• He's going to cancel Fashion Files, fire Sami Zayn and make Byron Saxton and Tom Phillips wear the same single suit because they sound the same.
• Dolph Ziggler comes out as Shane McMahon. He and Owens have a laugh about it. Daniel Bryan isn't entertained.
• This was great, especially Owens screaming at Shane's music. He tells Bryan Vince won't like what he has to say.

United States Championship
AJ Styles (c) defeated Tye Dillinger
5.5/10

• Greg Hamilton is an awesome ring announcer. He makes Tye Dillinger's entrance even better.
• It bugs me that they refer to their wrestlers as "the talent" on air
• Dillinger controls much of this match, then hits his finish when Baron Corbin tries to run in.
• Dillinger eventually taps to the Calf Crusher.
• As he's holding his leg on the ground, Dillinger gazes at the title. It's the little things. 
• Corbin attacks Styles and says he's challenging for the title next week. 

Backstage crappenings

• How is Dasha still in this role? Rusev says he's on the road to redemption after disappointing his country.
• Kevin Owens tells Aiden English he loves his singing and wants him to sing the new Smackdown theme. Kevin Owens' fandom of Aiden English is a great part of Smackdown. This has me hoping Kevin Owens gets control of Smackdown.
• Later, Dolph Ziggler runs through a bunch of entrances again — Bayley, Ultimate Warrior. Seems like this is setting up for a Roode program.

Jinder Mahal promo

• Jinder insinuates that he is charismatic and that Nakamura is constipated.
• He makes a bad Godzilla joke and then calls WWE fans stupid for laughing.
• I hope Mahal calling people stupid for laughing was an ad lib and Vince is like "GOD DAMMIT PAL WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GODZILLA WAS GOOD SHIT"
• This sucks and it was still his best promo.

Smackdown Tag Team Championships
Sin City Street Fight
New Day defeated Usos (c)
6.75/10

• Usos are kicking New Day's asses early. 
• Kendo sticks are brought out, then they tie up Big E. 
• Kofi Kingston's elbow pads have slid to his hands and now he looks like he's wearing Jason Pierre Paul's mittens
• Kofi's chair stomp from the top is a great one I've never seen before. 
• A chair is heaved at an Uso, then they catch his trust fall and botch a throw but it looks even nastier.
• These two teams have the best chemistry. That is solidified as an Uso takes a bump from the top rope through the table. 

Smackdown Women's Championship
Natalya (c) defeated Naomi 
3.75/10

• Naomi's kicks look terrible. Production is trying to hide it now. 
• She has a back wheel kick that looks a little different and works a lot better.
• Stop doing moves that require your opponent to ignorantly hold the top rope to keep themselves ready.
• Carmellsworth eat a body press. There go Carmella's kneecaps.
• Natalya wins. This was bad. 

Chad Gable & Shelton Benjamin defeated Hype Bros

• This is really short and sweet, and served to get Gable and Jordan a win.
• Benjamin forgot to tag in Gable, awkward.
• Their finish rules.
• Zack Ryder gets pissy and leaves. Do we need to split up more teams?

Vince and KO

• Owens is out, and brings out Vince McMahon.
• Vince says that he's nauseated and makes a fat joke.
• Vince out there measuring himself on live TV. 
• First off, Vince sued WCW. Second, Jesse Ventura beat him in court. They had to settle with CM Punk, Chuck Austin, others.
• Vince books Shane vs. Kevin Owens in Hell in a Cell.
• KO cleverly punches Vince McMahon after Vince says "if provoked, he can beat a McMahon senseless." 
• Owens hits a Frog Splash! Adam Pearce tried to help, didn't work.
• Kevin Owens may be the last person Vince McMahon ever physically puts over.
• Stephanie McMahon appears and she isn't happy.