Retro Review: ECW Hardcore Heaven 1995

I’ve seen very little 1995 ECW. I’m familiar with most everyone, know the stories of their careers, but at age 9, this wasn’t something I exactly knew about.

Rating guide

10- Perfect, 9- Excellent, 8- Great, 7- Good, 6- Above Average, 5- Average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor
Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a “star rating,” which is a completely different system.
 

The Dudley Boyz (w/ Big Dick Dudley) defeated The Pitbulls
4/10

• Stevie Richards has an insane mullet. Raven seems a star. I’m confused why they 
• This isn’t Bubba Ray and D-von (It’s Snot and Dudley Dudley, but funny that Joey Styles says it’s the first and last we’ll see of the Dudleys.
• The crowd isn’t interested in this, they’re more interested in something down in within themselves.
• Francine, who isn’t named then, kisses Richards over the barricade and Beulah fights her.  Raven grabs Richards and Beulah by the hair.
• Snot Dudley gets Superbombed, and Joey Styles writes them off. An anticlimactic double axehandle wins the match for the Dudley Boyz.
• The highlight was a slingshot shoulderblock from one of the Pitbulls.
• Pitbulls cut a promo on Raven and Stevie Richards after the match and say a change is coming.

Broad Street Bully & Chad Austin vs. Dino Sendoff & Don E. Allen in 2:10
2/10

• Holy shit, these guys are barely backyard level. 
• Austin almost dies on a bad back body drop attempt, and when he and the Bully do one to Allen, they overrotate him.
• The Bully looks like a precursor to The Goon, he pulls a shirt over his opponent’s head and beats him up, and he’s wearing a Flyers jersey. 
• The crowd is shitting all over this. They’re all so terrible. Joey Styles jokes that this match will never see the air, and takes a shot at WCW Slamboree. 
• I know well enough to know 911 is gonna come out and kill everyone. He does just that, and the crowd is psyched about it. 
• Chokeslams aplenty. 
• Paul E Dangerously says “welcome to ECW” and Austin & Allen take two of the worst chokeslam bumps ever. Bill Alfonso peeks his head out from the curtain.

Hack Meyers defeated Big Val Puccio aka Big Malley
1.25/10

• I can see why ECW kind of had the reputation they did for a while. I look at some of these guys and they seem like “Oh, you’re big? Do you have gear? Come wrestle.
• I’ve never been able to see much of Hack Meyers, and I know Big Malley barely wrested after this.  He died in 2011, and you could kind of see the writing on the wall based on his condition. He was only in his late 20s here and looked horrible. Hack Meyers would pass away 20 years later at 41.
• When I saw on the run sheet that this went over seven minutes, I was terrified, but there’s a ton of stalling. 
• Meyers is over big, the crowd chants “Shah” with every punch.
• The ring MOVES when Malley squishers Meyers. 
• The first 22 minutes of this show have felt like an hour. Malley fucking sucks. There are indy promoters that would book this kind of guy as opposed to smaller guys who could work.
• Front powerslam from Malley. Of course he doesn’t go for the pin after that or a splash, because he sucks. 
• He does an elbow drop the wrong way, misses and gets pinned. Malley gets up immediately and splashes Hack.
• Malley really sucks. 
• This wasn’t bad from an execution standpoint, it was just insulting to watch.

2 Cold Scorpio defeated Taz (w/ Paul E. Dangerously)
5.5/10

• After the first 26 minutes, I need this one. Scorpio was one of my favorites as a kid, and I thought Taz was a perfect character.
• It doesn’t look like they had a lot planned, because they’re just chaining and working early on.
• The referee is trash, doesn’t call for a rope break even though Taz broke the plane.
• Taz goes belly-to-belly on a superplex and Scorpio takes a breather. Scorpio maybe shouldn’t have worn orange.
• Scorpio with an insane monkey flip that sends Taz across the ring and then powerbombs him real proper.
• A whole lot of passing up pins on this show.
• Scorpio eats knees on a splash, but pokes Taz in the eyes and hits a uranage suplex.
• T-BONE TAZPLEX! Scorpio barely sells it and Tombstones Taz, but it’s more of a slam.
• Tumbleweed hits and Scorpio doesn’t go for a pin. Taz no sells and does a half nelson Tazplex. Scorpio gets pinned but his foot is in the ropes.
• The moves were cool, but the selling wasn’t great. I get it on Taz’s part at the end, because of his build at the time.
• Alfonso comes out and wants the match restarted, and if any wrestler touches him, he’s shutting down ECW.
• Heyman wants to fight him instead. Scorpio cracks Taz with a chair, Alfonso cheap shots Heyman.
• Leg drop on a chair, Scorpio wins.

The Franchise

• Joey Styles teases the hotline having updates on Shane Douglas’ WWF negotiations.
• Douglas, whose hair was at its all time worst, comes out and confirms as much.
• The crowd trolls him and says “we want Flair.” Douglas says he’s wanted him for two years and calls him a piece of shit. 
• It’s a little different to see Douglas like this, because he came back shortly after and looked so much more like a star. 
• This goes on way too long. Douglas rambles about journalism, and says the fans are the reason he’s leaving. 
• This rambling goes on for ten minutes until Woman (aka Nancy Sullivan/Benoit). She tries to recruit him, but gets called a dirtbag and she slaps him. 
• He asks for another, and threatens to beat up Nancy, but Sandman and Cactus Jack make the save.
• 16 minutes I’ll never get back. This was lame.

ECW Tag Team Championships
Raven & Stevie Richards (c) defeated Tommy Dreamer & Luna Vachon
6/10

• Luna is wrestling in this? Cool. Stevie Richards beats her ass though.
• The “counter everything into a leaning DDT that never finishes anyone” is the Dreamer special.
• Luna and Dreamer team up on Stevie and really claw his balls.
• Two count on a swinging neckbreaker from Vachon, as Dreamer beats up Raven outside the ring by the curtain. 
• Luna and Dreamer KILL Richards with an ironing board.
• Raven comes back and they take out both Luna and Dreamer, including hitting Luna with a chair. Dreamer has his hand bandaged up and Raven works it over.
• Double suplex and double DDT on Luna, but she kicks out!
• There’s a cool spot where Raven is being cocky while Richards is on the top rope, but Raven gets tied up in them and Dreamer gives him CTE with a chair. 
• A superplex from Luna on Richards! Beulah shows up and powders Luna’s eyes, and the champs retain.
• It was so cool to see Luna competing for a men’s title 23 years ago. This was a good underdog story that got cut off. Good stuff. 

Tapei Death Match
Axl Rotten defeated Ian Rotten
2.25/10

• Tod Gordon “punishes” Bill Alfonso by making him ref the Tapei Death Match.
• Can’t pretend I’m excited for this one. They have tape wrapped around their hands, dipped it in glue and broken shards of glass.
• Alfonso practically fingerbangs Ian’s forehead. He says he’s stopping the match for Ian’s lack of vision.
• The Gangstas and Public Enemy brawl out to ringside, this lures Alfonso away and Gordon restarts the match.
• They’re already busted open. This is such a dumb idea for a match. 
• If you wanna watch a bunch of punching to the face, chopping to the arms and bleeding, here ya go. A lot of those “I’m standing over you, holding your head and punching you” shots, too. 
• Ian grabs some thumbtacks, but gets back body dropped into them. A splash wins it for Axl. 
• Trash.

FIIIIIIIIIIGHT

• I like the cut transitions, it shortens the show.
• We see Raven and Stevie Richards being attacked by Luna and Dreamer, but Raven hits both with the belt, and DDTs Dreamer on it. Dreamer is dressed as the Sandman for some reason.
• The Pitbulls make the save, but Richards thinks they’re helping him. The Dudley Boyz get involved, too. 
• I think this was the beginning of bastardizing the DDT. I think I’ve seen 5 or 6 on this show and none finished anyone. 
• Raven is sent through the wall,
• This is such a mess. The Pitbulls, Dreamer and Luna celebrate after running Raven and Richards off.

ECW World Championship
The Sandman (c) (w/ Woman) defeated Cactus Jack
5.5/10

• 1995 Sandman. Looking forward to seeing him try a lot of things he can’t physically do. 
• Sandman truly looks like your drunk mid 1990s neighbor. It’s perfect. He hits Jack with the cane repeatedly.
• There’s a spot where Sandman clears the top rope to crack Foley with a cane. Very cool. 
• Foley hits DDT number 74 of the night that doesn’t finish someone. Sandman hits number 75.
• Sandman lands an UGLY flying leg drop and piledriver as Woman gingerly brings out a strand of barbed wire. Her facial expression rules.
• For some reason Sandman wraps it around him and jumps on Foley. Ok. He also does a terrible flying splash.
• Watching Sandman trying to do things he shouldn’t athletically be able to and finding out if he succeeds or fails will never get old.
• Cactus Jack Elbow! I spot Francine at ringside again. 
• Sandman is all cut up from the barbwire. Woman hits Foley with a cane, but he shoves her down.
• A ref bump, and Douglas piledrives Sandman and wraps barbed wire around him. Like that matters. Why’d he wait until a ref bump? Douglas hits Jack with the cane and tells ECW to kiss his ass goodbye as Sandman gets the pin.
• Douglas says he’ll stay if Tod Gordon begs him. Gordon fires Douglas, but Douglas attacks and beats up refs. 
• 911 makes the save and chokeslams Douglas.

Public Enemy defeated The Gangstas
4/10

• Public Enemy warn the crown about the violence.
• The dubbed over themes are bad, but the Gangstas’ at least has the west coast vibe.
• This is what you would expect. Grunge busts out an umbrella and a frying pan as Flyboy KILLS Mustafa’s face with a somersault senton through a table.
• Mustafa suplexes Flyboy into a table, but it doesn’t give all the way. You can see Flyboy telling him to finish the job.
• Back in the ring, a bleeding New Jack hotshots Grunge and Mustafa smashes a fan on Flyboy’s face. 
• Grunge does a weird half seated senton/legdrop to New Jack through the table. 
• Flyboy gets the pin on Mustafa with a croquet mallet to the head.
• I can see why ECW got the polarizing reaction that it did. 
• Public Enemy bring everyone in the ring to celebrate.