Match Ratings For WWE Smackdown 5/1/18, Podcast Notes From Sean Ross Sapp

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• Paige is backstage, and announces that this weekend's WWE title match is a No DQ match.
• Miz's outfit is goddamn hilarious. 
• The Montreal crowd cheers for Maryse, but she's not there. Miz says he took her to LA.
• Miz bans Daniel Bryan from Miz TV for no-showing which is a good way to keep them apart. 
• Jeff Hardy is brought out, and Miz calls him disrespectful to Randy Orton. Orton interrupts but he says he's not upset at Jeff Hardy for the interruptions two weeks ago. 
• Miz is really trying to talk these two into being pissed off, but it's not working. They're all interrupted by Shelton Benjamin, who has a case for a U.S. Title match.
• Benjamin gets knocked off the apron, and Miz gets caught with a Whisper in the Wind.

Jeff Hardy & Randy Orton defeated Miz & Shelton Benjamin
5.25/10

• We get this match in progress, in time to see Miz and Shelton working over Orton.
• Benjamin's strikes fit so well in modern day WWE. What does it say about WWE's confidence in Shelton Benjamin that they have him working with these three guys? Anything?
• Shelton eats a Twist of Fate, but Miz distracts Jeff long enough to allow Shelton to get a knee. Jeff takes a nasty apron bump.
• Hardy worked over again after a commercial, but Orton gets a hot tag and Singh Bombs Miz.
• Double draping DDT, and Montreal goes wild for Orton. RKO and Swanton on Shelton, pin.
• RKO outta nowhere on Hardy!
• Randy Orton barely talking and just hitting RKOs all the time is harmless to me. I like it.

 Backstage crappenings

• Rusev Day are backstage, and Lana approaches and says Rusev is being held back. She indicates that it's Aiden English. Let. Him. Be. A God. Damn. Babyface. People. Want. To. Cheer. Rusev. And. Lana. And. Aiden. English. Too. Also, no accent for Lana.
• Are we to believe Absolution haven't talked to Paige the entire two weeks they've worked on Smackdown? They feign not hugging, then hug. Mandy Rose gets a match with Becky Lynch, but she wanted a title match. They're upset that they're not getting special treatment, but Paige says Absolution is dead. This was a good segment and we got personality out of Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville for once. 

Big Cass

• We're told Daniel Bryan can't compete tonight because WWE's medical staff won't clear him because of a fear of a chest infection.
• Big Cass is out in front of the crowd and cuts an "each and every one of you" promo. Big Cass' "each and every one of you" promo is Jinder Mahal's "you people" promo.
• Cass references five star matches, but I don't have as much of a problem with it, because he says he'd rather end it in 5 seconds. WWE saw the great success of that Aleister Black promo on Zelina and decided to double down with a little person dressed as Daniel Bryan.
• Cass boots the little person in the face and punches him several times until officials come out.
• Daniel Bryan being withheld from the show tonight is legit. He was originally set to interrupt the segment after the "Lil' Bryan" entrance.
• I didn't think his promo work was that bad. 

The Montreal Nutjob

• I begged for years on the air for WWE to switch the babyface promo format away from the "hey listen to me bitch about stuff in the middle of the ring by myself" way, and I'm glad they did.
• AJ Styles talks trash about Nakamura in a rather long winded, pointless way. 
• Samoa Joe interrupts, and for some reason is happy Roman Reigns isn't Universal Champion. An odd talking point directive for them to give him. Joe says he's coming after either AJ Styles or Nakamura after Backlash.
• Nakamura's music hits and he punches AJ Styles IN THE PENIS .

Xavier Woods (w/ New Day) defeated Sheamus (w/ Cesaro)
5.5/10

• The Bar encounter New Day, and New Day rubs syrup all over his chest. The Bar throw away the pancakes New Day offer them. Big E goes off, but Sheamus is talking to Xavier Woods instead. 
• There are a lot of dropkicks and boots early on, but I'm a fan of Sheamus working the top wristlock. Just prior, Woods gets Enzo'd on the bottom rope.
• Woods gets a ton of air on the Irish Curse backbreaker. Woods then uses a corkscrew legdrop and a shining wizard.
• Cesaro distracts Xavier and posts Big E. Woods attacks, but gets sent into the barricade by Sheamus. 
• Inside the ring, Xavier pins Sheamus. 

Asuka, Charlotte Flair & Becky Lynch defeated The IIconics & Carmella
4.5/10

• This is the historic, first ever 1000th women's tag team match on Smackdown Live.
• The IIconics cut a promo and impersonate Renee Young but do a Minnesota accent. They tell her to go chase a moose, then introduce Carmella. They talk a little trash and leave as Carmella moonwalks back.
• Backstage, Becky Lynch isn't happy about costing Asuka her first Smackdown Live loss, but Asuka isn't worried. She screams and cheers and stuff. Okay. Becky and Charlotte drink tea. 
• Becky Lynch dances after she knocks down Peyton and then there's this sad, half hearted swing exchange between Becky and Billie. Yikes.
• I get so sick of the "all babyfaces are friends and all heels are friend and the babyfaces are all havin' fun!" thing.
• Billie Kay screams as she tags out.
• Carmella and Charlotte have another sad exchange, but Charlotte does hit a nice plancha on the IIconics. 
• The IIconics yank Asuka off the apron, and she goes FLYING. They send her into the stairs too..
• Charlotte gets the tag. Her kicks are shitty, but has some nice T-bone suplexes. Charlotte misses the ring post by a mile but acts like she hit it. 
• Carmella scores a Stratusphere, but can't get the win. 
• Asuka gets a hot tag and she screams a whole hell of a lot. Carmella and Billie hold Peyton to keep her from being suplexed, but they all get ass bumped off the apron. 
• I bought a couple of pin attempts from Royce on Asuka, but no dice. The match breaks down and we get a bunch of kicks — about half look good. Charlotte gets a spear on Peyton and a moonsault onto Billie and Carmella.
• Asuka submits Peyton Royce. This was a sloppy match.