Wrestling

Match Ratings For WWE Smackdown Live 7/16/19 From Sean Ross Sapp

Town Hall

  • Kevin Owens is told by Shane McMahon that he has the night off from Smackdown.
  • We see the setup for the Town Hall. What we learn is that AOP are on Smackdown.
  • Shane McMahon opens up the floor, and Roman Reigns says that nobody respects him. He tells Shane to kiss his ass.
  • Charlotte can’t believe that Roman Reigns said that, and thanks Shane. Liv Morgan interrupts and goes back and forth with Charlotte.
  • Hey, WWE, stop scripting your wrestlers to say “FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE…….”
  • Buddy Murphy tells Kevin Owens to keep his name out of his mouth. Shane says he likes Murphy now.
  • Apollo Crews and Andrade go at it, and it leads to a challenge to a match we saw two weeks ago.
  • This was a waste of time.
  • Cesaro is there. Shane mentions the fact that he’s on Raw, like that matters. He challenges Aleister Black. Okay.
  • WWE ran a town hall with Shane McMahon to schedule two re-matches.
  • Kevin Owens shows up and hits the Stunner on Shane. Shane botched the first one big time.

Aleister Black defeated Cesaro
5/10

  • I’m confused as to why Cesaro made his entrance again.
  • Nothing happens before the commercial. Instead we get action during the break, which sadly leads to a chinlock.
  • I bitch about chinlocks not being realistic a lot. Cesaro’s was. He blocked the hip. When he didn’t anymore, Black got out.
  • Black hits a big moonsault and a stiff knee. Black Mass hits.
  • Black wins and knocks the mouth piece out.
  • But why? Why not anyone else?
  • This didn’t go above par for me, because there’s nothing you couldn’t see Sunday.

Charlotte Flair defeated Liv Morgan
5.5/10

  • Liv Morgan says that because of people like Charlotte, she doesn’t get opportunities. Charlotte hasn’t wrestled in a month.
  • Liv takes over early with a nice huracanrana, skateboard stomp and more.
  • Flair wins with a powerbomb and the Figure Eight.
  • Charlotte and Liv was a good, harmless match. Liv Morgan had a really good showing.
  • Liv says she’s going to be “real” when she’s back.

Ember Moon & Bayley defeated Fire & Desire
SQUASH

  • Ember Moon’s mystery opponent is Bayley.
  • Fire & Desire take over briefly. It doesn’t last.
  • Bayley to Belly on Sonya, Eclipse on Mandy Rose
  • Actual tag teams don’t need to win in this division, I guess.
  • After the match, Bayley issues a friendly challenge to Ember Moon for Summerslam, which Ember accepts. That should be really good.

Backstage Crappenings

  • Mustafa Ali congratulates Shinsuke Nakamura and indicates that he wants to challenge.
  • R-Truth is hiding in a washing machine. Carmella and Truth going to San Diego Comic Con so he can hide in plain sight.

Randy Orton, Elias & Samoa Joe defeated New Day
5.5/10

  • New Day come out and do their thing. They say they want to give Rowan and Daniel Bryan a rematch.
  • This brings out Rowan and Bryan. They leave ringside three different times before Bryan drops the mic. His announcement isn’t happening.
  • Instead, Samoa Joe, Elias and Randy Orton come out respectively and make their cases for a title match.
  • New Day challenge the three for a six-man tag match, and Orton wants no part of it. He’s baited into accepting by a nice New Day limp dick joke though.
  • The match unfolds, and Kofi Kingston hits a great mushroom stomp on Samoa Joe before New Day all take turns on offense.
  • It’s wild how white hot Elias was last year, only to become an afterthought at no fault of his own.
  • A bunch of time killing work happens during the break, but at least Orton gets Woods with a Singh Bomb.
  • Kofi Kingston gets a hot tag and goes back and forth with Randy Orton. This is a program worth exploring.
  • Everyone gets their shots in. Joe chokes out Xavier outside the ring and Orton pins Kofi Kingston with an RKO.

WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships
Kabuki Warriors (w/ Paige) defeated The IIconics (c) via countout
SQUASH

  • Right out of the gate, Kabuki Warriors hit great tandem offense on Peyton Royce.
  • Billie Kay gets beaten up, too.
  • IIconics get themselves counted out, and Kabuki Warriors win. IIconics retain the tag team titles.
  • Why would WWE play a team’s music after they lost, even if they were still champions?
  • Kabuki Warriors beat IIconics down after the match.

Apollo Crews defeated Andrade (w/ Zelina)
SQUASH (kind of)

  • Here’s a rematch of a match that happened two weeks ago on Smackdown.
  • Andrade attacks before the bell, which we have also already seen between Andrade and Apollo Crews. We’re getting the BEST OF this feud.
  • Apollo agrees to do the match, and Andrade jumps all over him.
  • This is a total ass whipping, until Andrade gets crucifixed pinned and beaten.
  • We saw a very similar finish on last night’s Raw. I guess we’ll see where it goes.
  • 50/50, though.

Kevin Owens vs. Dolph Ziggler
5/10

  • Ziggler talks Shane McMahon into letting him face Kevin Owens tonight.
  • One of three things should happen in this match. 1. Kevin Owens wins again in five seconds. 2. Bray Wyatt attacks Ziggler 3. Kevin Owens wins in three seconds.
  • None of those happens. KO hits a tope con hilo. He eats knees on a Swanton.
  • Fameasser connects for Dolph Ziggler and he applies a Crippler Crossface.
  • I don’t know why this is happening. Big DDT for Ziggler hits.
  • Owens gets a superkick and a Swanton, but a ton of heels come out to the ring with Shane McMahon.
  • Kevin Owens is a babyface, and babyfaces are dumbasses, so he gets distracted and Zig Zagged.
  • Owens hits a Stunner, but KO stuns Shane too when he’s pulled out.
  • KO gets chased out by all the heels.

Rating guide

10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor

Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a “star rating,” which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive “TV match” lands at a 5. The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones. Don’t take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!

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