Match Ratings For WWE Smackdown Live 7/16/19 From Sean Ross Sapp
Town Hall
- Kevin Owens is told by Shane McMahon that he has the night off from Smackdown.
- We see the setup for the Town Hall. What we learn is that AOP are on Smackdown.
- Shane McMahon opens up the floor, and Roman Reigns says that nobody respects him. He tells Shane to kiss his ass.
- Charlotte can’t believe that Roman Reigns said that, and thanks Shane. Liv Morgan interrupts and goes back and forth with Charlotte.
- Hey, WWE, stop scripting your wrestlers to say “FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE…….”
- Buddy Murphy tells Kevin Owens to keep his name out of his mouth. Shane says he likes Murphy now.
- Apollo Crews and Andrade go at it, and it leads to a challenge to a match we saw two weeks ago.
- This was a waste of time.
- Cesaro is there. Shane mentions the fact that he’s on Raw, like that matters. He challenges Aleister Black. Okay.
- WWE ran a town hall with Shane McMahon to schedule two re-matches.
- Kevin Owens shows up and hits the Stunner on Shane. Shane botched the first one big time.
Aleister Black defeated Cesaro
5/10
- I’m confused as to why Cesaro made his entrance again.
- Nothing happens before the commercial. Instead we get action during the break, which sadly leads to a chinlock.
- I bitch about chinlocks not being realistic a lot. Cesaro’s was. He blocked the hip. When he didn’t anymore, Black got out.
- Black hits a big moonsault and a stiff knee. Black Mass hits.
- Black wins and knocks the mouth piece out.
- But why? Why not anyone else?
- This didn’t go above par for me, because there’s nothing you couldn’t see Sunday.
Charlotte Flair defeated Liv Morgan
5.5/10
- Liv Morgan says that because of people like Charlotte, she doesn’t get opportunities. Charlotte hasn’t wrestled in a month.
- Liv takes over early with a nice huracanrana, skateboard stomp and more.
- Flair wins with a powerbomb and the Figure Eight.
- Charlotte and Liv was a good, harmless match. Liv Morgan had a really good showing.
- Liv says she’s going to be “real” when she’s back.
Ember Moon & Bayley defeated Fire & Desire
SQUASH
- Ember Moon’s mystery opponent is Bayley.
- Fire & Desire take over briefly. It doesn’t last.
- Bayley to Belly on Sonya, Eclipse on Mandy Rose
- Actual tag teams don’t need to win in this division, I guess.
- After the match, Bayley issues a friendly challenge to Ember Moon for Summerslam, which Ember accepts. That should be really good.
Backstage Crappenings
- Mustafa Ali congratulates Shinsuke Nakamura and indicates that he wants to challenge.
- R-Truth is hiding in a washing machine. Carmella and Truth going to San Diego Comic Con so he can hide in plain sight.
Randy Orton, Elias & Samoa Joe defeated New Day
5.5/10
- New Day come out and do their thing. They say they want to give Rowan and Daniel Bryan a rematch.
- This brings out Rowan and Bryan. They leave ringside three different times before Bryan drops the mic. His announcement isn’t happening.
- Instead, Samoa Joe, Elias and Randy Orton come out respectively and make their cases for a title match.
- New Day challenge the three for a six-man tag match, and Orton wants no part of it. He’s baited into accepting by a nice New Day limp dick joke though.
- The match unfolds, and Kofi Kingston hits a great mushroom stomp on Samoa Joe before New Day all take turns on offense.
- It’s wild how white hot Elias was last year, only to become an afterthought at no fault of his own.
- A bunch of time killing work happens during the break, but at least Orton gets Woods with a Singh Bomb.
- Kofi Kingston gets a hot tag and goes back and forth with Randy Orton. This is a program worth exploring.
- Everyone gets their shots in. Joe chokes out Xavier outside the ring and Orton pins Kofi Kingston with an RKO.
WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships
Kabuki Warriors (w/ Paige) defeated The IIconics (c) via countout
SQUASH
- Right out of the gate, Kabuki Warriors hit great tandem offense on Peyton Royce.
- Billie Kay gets beaten up, too.
- IIconics get themselves counted out, and Kabuki Warriors win. IIconics retain the tag team titles.
- Why would WWE play a team’s music after they lost, even if they were still champions?
- Kabuki Warriors beat IIconics down after the match.
Apollo Crews defeated Andrade (w/ Zelina)
SQUASH (kind of)
- Here’s a rematch of a match that happened two weeks ago on Smackdown.
- Andrade attacks before the bell, which we have also already seen between Andrade and Apollo Crews. We’re getting the BEST OF this feud.
- Apollo agrees to do the match, and Andrade jumps all over him.
- This is a total ass whipping, until Andrade gets crucifixed pinned and beaten.
- We saw a very similar finish on last night’s Raw. I guess we’ll see where it goes.
- 50/50, though.
Kevin Owens vs. Dolph Ziggler
5/10
- Ziggler talks Shane McMahon into letting him face Kevin Owens tonight.
- One of three things should happen in this match. 1. Kevin Owens wins again in five seconds. 2. Bray Wyatt attacks Ziggler 3. Kevin Owens wins in three seconds.
- None of those happens. KO hits a tope con hilo. He eats knees on a Swanton.
- Fameasser connects for Dolph Ziggler and he applies a Crippler Crossface.
- I don’t know why this is happening. Big DDT for Ziggler hits.
- Owens gets a superkick and a Swanton, but a ton of heels come out to the ring with Shane McMahon.
- Kevin Owens is a babyface, and babyfaces are dumbasses, so he gets distracted and Zig Zagged.
- Owens hits a Stunner, but KO stuns Shane too when he’s pulled out.
- KO gets chased out by all the heels.
Rating guide
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor
Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a “star rating,” which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive “TV match” lands at a 5. The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones. Don’t take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!