Wrestling

Match Ratings For WWE Smackdown 4/3/2020 From Sean Ross Sapp


The Dirt Sheet

  • Usos come out first, and are interrupted by New Day. Big E makes an “anals” joke.
  • Miz and Morrison are out next, and say when the competition gets tough, the other teams destroy each other. But Miz and Morrison have turned on each other before, and these guys haven’t.
  • Miz and Morrison post on ladders, and a brawl is underway.
  • Miz and Morrison mow down Kofi with a ladder. The brawl was pretty good.

Tamina defeated Naomi and Lacey Evans
5.5/10

  • Sasha and Bayley join commentary.
  • Tamina wrestled in her first Smackdown match in over two years, and her first Smackdown singles match since 2017.
  • The majority of this match is Tamina taking offense, and cutting to the commentary booth.
  • Naomi has some good kicks, including one to a meddling Sasha Banks.
  • There was some good editing and camera work. Tamina gets the win!!!
  • Bayley tries to kiss Tamina’s ass (figuratively) and gets kicked. Same happens with Sasha.
  • They needed an impressive showing from Tamina, and made it happen.

Other Stuff

  • We’re shown Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair, which has absolutely no bearing on anything currently going on in WWE.
  • The announcement of Braun Strowman and Goldberg at WrestleMania was so quiet I completely missed it on the air. That was beyond lazy.

Tucker defeated Dolph Ziggler via DQ
5.5/10

  • Mandy talks to Tucker backstage, and Otis is curious about it.
  • Ziggler resorts to a chinlock an awful lot early in this one, but scores with a dropkick and DDT.
  • I still don’t understand commercials during matches in this time.
  • We come back from the break and Ziggler is getting his ass kicked up the ramp and into the stairs.
  • Tucker has a nice side slam.
  • A Zig Zag on the steps results in a DQ.
  • Mandy Rose & Sonya Deville come out to stop Ziggler from attacking Tucker with the stairs, and Otis follows.
  • We see the glitch again with “The Truth Will Be Heard” text. The person is in a control room.
  • We’re shown a video in Mandy & Sonya’s locker room on Valentine’s Day. Sonya sent the text message to Otis, she and Ziggler conspired to ruin the date.
  • Modern Day GTV. It could be a lot worse.
  • Sonya is pleading with Mandy as she walks out.

Daniel Bryan (w/ Drew Gulak) defeated Shinsuke Nakamura (w/ The Artists Collective) via DQ
6/10

  • Fun fact: Shinsuke Nakamura and Daniel Bryan roomed together with former UFC Champion Lyoto Machida years ago.
  • This is good and hard hitting, but I would love to see a truly motivated Nakamura taking on Bryan. It seemed like that was tonight.
  • Nakamura’s sliding German rules.
  • Bryan counters a sleeperslam, but gets kicked, then Nakamura does one anyway.
  • Kinshasa attempt into a half crab. A series of armbars, triangles an a Yes Lock are applied.
  • Cesaro causes a DQ.
  • That was one of my favorite Nakamura matches on the main roster.
  • Cesaro tosses Gulak over a barrier and Bryan into the announcer’s table.
  • They attack Gulak and run him into the stairs. They all hit their finishers on Bryan.

FUNHOUSE?

  • John Cena comes out and says he doesn’t know what a Firefly Funhouse match is and Bray Wyatt doesn’t either.
  • Cena says Fiend thrives off fear.
  • He says he’ll squash Bray Wyatt, no matter what the match is, and says Wyatt isn’t even on the level below him. He calls Wyatt a bootleg Mr. Rogers.
  • Goldberg exposed Fiend has weaknesses and Cena is going to expose him as an embarrassment.
  • Cena accepts the challenge.
  • Fiend shows up on the platform, and then Wyatt is behind Cena.

Rating Guide
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor

Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a “star rating,” which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive “TV match” lands at a 5. The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones that may change upon a second viewing, or sitting on the match for a period of time. Don’t take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!

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