Wrestling

Match Ratings For WWE Smackdown 3/6/20 From Sean Ross Sapp



Moment of Bliss

  • Bliss Cross Applesauce remind Kabuki Warriors that the tag belts are supposed to be defended across brands.
  • Hulk Hogan either couldn’t be arsed to come tonight, or WWE decided he wasn’t worth it for Smackdown. Either way, I’m stoked to not see him!
  • Nikki Cross takes a selfie with NWO. Nash brings up him beating Goldberg. He says Roman Reigns needs a cattle prod and Scott Hall to beat Goldberg.
  • This sucks already.
  • The Artists come out and take a shot at Sean Waltman for never being the IC Champ and carrying Nash and Hall’s bags
  • Nash says Sami Zayn looks like Seth Rogen after two weeks of stomach flu.
  • Scott Hall is playing the crony and it’s great.
  • Sami Zayn says he won’t let the nWo clout chase.
  • Braun Strowman comes out and takes out Cesaro and Nakamura, and runs Zayn back into the ring. Zayn uses Bliss as a shield.

Boss N’ Hug Connection defeated Naomi & Lacey Evans
5.25/10

  • Before a commercial, Naomi gets sent into the barricade.
  • Back from break, Naomi breaks up the Boss N Hug dominance with a great corkscrew plancha.
  • Naomi’s gotta give up those Speedball Bailey kicks.
  • Banks gets the win with some stacked double knees on Naomi.
  • Naomi has been 50/50’d to death here.
  • Sasha leans on “you see” in promos too much. She and Bayley are upset that Bellas are going in the Hall of Fame before them.
  • They’re going to celebrate.

Sheamus defeated Apollo Crews
Squash-esque

  • Shorty G offers to help Apollo, but Apollo won’t shake his hand.
  • Apollo Crews gets some offense before getting Brogue Kicked.
  • Every televised match Sheamus has had so far since his return has been against Apollo Crews or Shorty G. All five of them.

Backstage Crappenings

  • Gulak is backstage talking to Drake Maverick about Daniel Bryan‘s weaknesses. I’m all for this Daniel Bryan/Gulak match. The result isn’t in doubt, but the build has been fun.
  • Firefly Funhouse happens and they call back to Wyatt’s WrestleMania loss to Cena. One of the more useful Firefly Funhouse skits ever. A lot of back story adding to Cena/Fiend at WrestleMania.
  • King Corbin is interrupted by Elias backstage. Does anyone care?

Fire & Desire (w/ Dolph Ziggler) defeated Dana Brooke & Carmella
5/10

  • Ziggler accompanies Mandy & Sonya to the ring.
  • Someone remembered that the women’s tag titles could be defended cross-brand this week and said “MAKE SURE WE REMIND THE WORLD!”
  • Dana Brooke’s corner elbow is good, but her dropkick misses by a mile. Mandy’s knee doesn’t.
  • Fire & Desire get a win off of a Dolph distraction.
  • Graves covered up for that missed dropkick as best he could.
  • Otis apologizes to Mandy, saying he got a message saying she’d be late. Mandy says it’s too late and she doesn’t appreciate being stood up.

Gauntlet Match For Sixth Elimination Chamber Entry
Roode & Ziggler win
6.25/10

  • I love New Day/Heavy Machinery starting off.
  • Big E vs. Otis is such a fun, old school face off.
  • Heavy Machinery do good in stereo suplexes, but Otis can’t get Big E over on clotheslines.
  • Tucker catches Kofi mid-air outside for a Belly-to-Belly.
  • The Compactor beats Big E.
  • Heavy Machinery are the definition of rising to the occasion, they’re so good on the main roster.
  • Lucha House Party hit the ring and fly around everywhere, but the crowd hasn’t picked back up since New Day was out.
  • Commercial.
  • Heavy Machinery pick up another win.
  • The Usos are next, but get beaten quickly by Heavy Machinery.
  • Miz and Morrison meet a same fate, then get beat Otis and Tucker down.
  • Mandy Rose is watching along backstage. Ziggler laughs about Otis.
  • We see the GLITCH on screen.
  • Ziggler and Roode are working Tucker over big time.
  • Otis gets a HUGE POP
  • Roode and Ziggler put down Otis and get the win. This ruled.

Rating Guide
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor

Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a “star rating,” which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive “TV match” lands at a 5. The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones that may change upon a second viewing, or sitting on the match for a period of time. Don’t take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!

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