Match Ratings For Impact Wrestling Rebellion, Podcast Notes From Sean Ross Sapp

Ace Austin defeated Petey Williams, Eddie Edwards, Cousin Jake, Jake Crist and Aiden Pierce
5.75/10

• Impact has their ring mic’d really loud. Every step is loud. The Impact Wrestling Rebellion venue looks OUTSTANDING.
• Petey Williams gets a nice pop for his entrance and the Sharpshooter.
• This is very true to the spirit of the X-Division. I just couldn’t get past how LOUD the ring is. It takes away from the bumps when the mic is really loud for the ring.
• Ace Austin is really good. He’s one of the highlights of this match for me. He steals the pin on Petey Williams after he hits a Canadian Destroyer.

Scarlett Bordeaux (w/ Fallah Bahh) defeated Rohit Raju (w/ Desi Hit Squad)
4/10

• I can’t believe Gama Singh is still a thing. He’s been terrible since the beginning of this angle.
• Scarlett is stiffing Rohit pretty hard, and ends up hitting Raj with a baseball slide. Rohit has to cheat to gain the advantage.
• Scarlett spits on him after a suplex.
• Tilt-a-whirl crossface is applied by Scarlett, and it’s not a good one. Her German suplex isn’t hot, either.
• Scarlett dives onto the other members of Desi Hit Squad, and that’s a winner for sure — a good spot.
• Scarlett pins Rohit. She’s their Sable.

Moose & The North defeated The Rascalz
8/10

• I really dig the Ethan Page/Josh Alexander team, and loved the build of The Rascalz and Moose.
• Moose hangs with Rascalz in the athleticism department, which is something to behold. Moose’s dropkick sort of inverted tree of woes Xavier.
• Xavier misses a spin kick on Alexander by a mile, but Page hits a tilt-a-whirl flapjack that looked great.
• Dez hits an assisted cutter, followed by a Trey springboard rana, followed by a Wentz launching assisted monsault. IT’S PANDEMONIUM.
• Dez does an insane cannonball senton to the pile off the back of Alexander. This is great.
• After flip after flip onto Alexander, Page bails him out by powerbombing Dez onto the pinfall.
• Burning Hammer into a Spinebuster for The North, and Moose finishes it off with No Jackhammer Needed.
• This ruled.

Knockouts Championship
Taya (c) defeated Jordynne Grace
5.75/10

• Impact Wrestling’s women’s division all look like big stars, grass is green.
• This is a lot of cat-and-mouse. Jordynne does a nice electric chair onto the apron.
• Taya doesn’t seem to have the sense of urgency on her face that Jordynne does.
• Taya really beats down Jordynne, but falls victim to the Bam Bam Bomb.
• There’s a Michinoku Driver that almost gets TRAGIC. Grace barely got her cleared, and Callis wisely blames it on the arm injury.
• Taya kicks out of the Muscle Buster.
• There’s a sloppy transition out of pin attempts that make Jordynne look like she’s waiting to get kneed in the face.
• The selling in this match on Grace’s side is really great.
• Road to Valhalla wins it for Taya.
• Taya looks like she has a great gas tank. She looks fresh as a daisy after that match.
• This was real close to recommended viewing for me, but something just didn’t connect. That being said, I really enjoyed the match.

Impact X Division Championship
OVE Rules
Rich Swann (c) defeated Sami Callihan
6/10

• I’m a little torn on the build on this one. A well known wrester messaged me and said “why wouldn’t Rich just stab Sami here?”
• Swann staples Sami.
• Sami does an awesome exploder onto a chair.
• I could do without even a cookie sheet to the head.
• Sami spits on Rich Swann, and Swann ate the spit. Intentionally. I almost vomited.
• Swann with a cutter on the ramp.
• Callihan does a piledriver on a bridged guardrail, but Impact has a replay running during a pin.
• Everyone knows Legos suck to land on. We don’t need the “YOU EVER STEPPED ON ONE OF THOSE?” lines every time.
• Callihan pleads with Swann and says he loves him, but Swann tears him to shreds with the barbed wire and retains the title via submission.

Tessa Blanchard defeated Gail Kim
8/10

• This match has had a good build. Tessa is joined by Tully before the match.
• Gail Kim is UP TO SPEED. They’re tossing out flying headscissors’ with regularity.
• Gail Kim got folded with that codebreaker. It looked great.
• They’re working at a really brisk pace, and it’s working well. That sense of urgency is there.
• Tessa counters a running headscissors into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.
• Tessa trash talks Gail’s husband at ring side, these two are really laying it in.
• This may be the opponent Kim has waited her life for. She looks great in this match.
• Gail Kim hits an Eat Defeat out of a reversal, but Tessa kicks out.
• Tessa bites Kim’s arm to get out of a dragon sleeper and does a second rope press slam. Magnum hits all the way across the ring
• The crowd bought this as the finish, but Kim kicked out, and Tessa submits her with a modified Cobra Clutch.
• Tessa talks to Tully, and is told something. She shakes Gail’s hand and they embrace and are in tears
• I don’t see a legit reason why the women in Impact shouldn’t be headlining most of their PPV shows at this point

Impact Wrestling Championship
Special Ref: Lance Storm
Brian Cage defeated Johnny Impact to win the title
3.75/10

• I’m ready for another overbooked Impact Title match, as is tradition.
• Cage looks like he got hurt off the apron spot, because he’s dragging ass.
• There’s this weird outside in springboard spear. Like, why didn’t Impact just do it in the ring.
• Cage is KNACKERED.
• They are talking a WHOLE LOT. Impact to Lance, Impact to Cage, Cage to Impact.
• Impact hits Cage with the belt, Lance Storm gets yanked out (even though he saw it), Jonny kicks him again. Cage thought Taya hit him and powerbombs her. Jonny Bravo tries to count a pin on a Starship Pain that doesn’t hit. Lance Storm superkicks the second ref. Woof.
• Cage hits a miserable Drill Claw for the win. This sucked.
• Michael Elgin comes out and gets a positive reaction. He powerbombs Cage.
• “IS ELGIN TRENDING ON TWITTER YET!?”- Josh. Wow.

Impact Tag Team Championships
Full Metal Mayhem
LAX defeated Lucha Bros. (c) to become champions
5.75/10

• LAX attack, but Lucha Bros hit suicide sentons through tables.
• LAX do a crazy Coup De Grace/hanging stunner combo on Fenix through chairs. This should have been broken up instead of kicked out of. 
• They all sit in chairs and trade punches. It ends in LAX throwing chairs at their heads, but everyone falls down. 
• Lucha Bros hit a Fear Factor through chairs, but Santana kicked out at two. 
• That was supposed to be a Spanish Fly to the ramp, but Fenix’s foot snagged and it was a super violent belly-to-belly superplex ropewalk through a table.
• Josh Mathews telegraphs a non-finish again. This time with a Pentagon Driver through a chair. 
• Thumbtacks are pulled out, and put on a table. A ladder is set up and Santana/Pentagon are on it.
• Santana STABS Pentagon with a fork.
• Santana doesn’t get over for the Blockbuster, so Ortiz powerbombs Pentagon through a table for the win.
• Oh my god Impact’s production team almost missed the damn finish.

Rating guide

10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor

Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a “star rating,” which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive “TV match” lands at a 5.The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones. Don’t take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!