Match Ratings For Impact Slammiversary 2019, Podcast Notes From Sean Ross Sapp

Willie Mack defeated Jake Crist, TJP & Trey Miguel
5.5/10

• TJP has a nice early showing, but after some flashy offense, he gets slapped in the face and standing moonsaulted by Mack.
• There are a lot of three and four person offensive moves that involve everyone. Not my cup of tea usually, but the crowd is reacting really well and the moves are executed well.
• I loved TJP’s leg hook back suplex, and Jake Crist’s super cutter.
• Willie Mack ends up getting the win after that super cutter by hitting Crist with a big frog splash.
• Willie Mack should be pushed to the top of Impact.

Impact Tag Team Championships
The North (c) defeated LAX and The Rascalz
6/10

• This is fast and furious and has the benefit of a bunch of great workers that make it flow well.
• Alexander has a much different style than everyone else, but it works out. I think The North can be a great Impact tag team.
• Ethan Page bodyslams Wentz from the top rope onto a pile. I love that move.
• Alexander does a moonsault slam from the top rope on Dezmond, and that should have been the finish, and a big-show high spot. Xavier kicks out after the moonsault, even.
• Santana gets “injured” outside the ring.
• The North end up getting the win.
• I like the decision for The North to win the titles on Friday since most people here knew that LAX could be leaving.
• Ortiz, doctors and the Rascalz all tend to Santana.

First Blood
Eddie Edwards defeated Killer Kross
5.75/10

• Kross hits a tree slam to the apron pretty early.
• Kross is just methodically destroying Eddie Edwards, who Impact really wants to be their Tommy Dreamer. If that’s the case, Kross is a hell of a foil.
• Edwards can’t get a Blue Thunder Bomb because he’s beaten down too much.
• Eddie went for a cane to the head, but Kross applies the Kross Arm. They end up outside, where Edwards lands a sick Tiger Driver on the floor.
• Edwards breaks “Kenny” in half and stabs Kros in the face with the broken kendo stick.
• The ref calls for this one to end as Killer Kross is bleeding from the mouth heavily.
• Lots of red in this one. I don’t have a clue if that was actually hardway or a capsule or whatever, but it worked really well for this angle and match.

Moose defeated Rob Van Dam
5.75/10

• Rob Van Dam says a whole lot of shit that doesn’t make any sense. He brings up writers during his promo, too. Oh well, his match is next.
• Moose attacks RVD from behind.
• RVD does his tope con hilo over the top rope, which gets chants. He says that’s what the does this for, but he literally told me months ago he’s doing this for the money. Hey, your prerogative, bro.
• RVD hits a huracanrana and a cannonball.
• Moose cuts RVD off to a good heel reaction.
• RVD does a split-legged moonsault, but Moose follows up with Go 2 Hell.
• They do a strike trade, but this is a slow one. The kicks from RVD and DDT from Moose aren’t slow, though.
• Moose punches RVD in the dick, then the ref keeps him from using the chair.
• The ref is standing and watching RVD with the chair, not bothering to get it. Moose gets dropped onto it…..ok.
• RVD eats chair on the Frog Splash and gets pinned after the No Jackhammer Needed.
• This is one of the best Rob Van Dam matches I’ve seen in a long time. Moose should be at the top of the Impact card, too.

Impact Knockouts Championship
Monster’s Ball Match
Taya (c) defeated Su Yung, Havok, and Rosemary
8/10

• Taya staples Su Yung’s head.
• This underworld shit isn’t for me, but at least this is good hardcore wrestling.
• Taya has a great presence. Havok’s boot has a great presence on Taya’s face.
• Taya does an inverted Code Red onto a ladder on Havok.
• Rosemary superplexes Su Yung onto a ladder! This is one of the wildest ladder match spots I’ve ever seen!
• Taya surfboard stomps Rosemary into thumbtacks! Taya then takes out Rosemary with a Side Effect through a table.
• After Havok Tombstones Su Yung off the second rope into tacks, Taya capitalizes and crushes Havok with a chair and steals the pin.
• This was great. A top 3 Monster’s Ball match of all-time for me. Great performances all around.

X Division Championship
Rich Swann (c) defeated Johnny Impact (w/ Johnny Bravo)
6.75/10

• Impact cuts a way better promo as a heel than a babyface. It wasn’t great or anything, but it was better than his really bad babyface ones.
• I will say, the streamers Bravo used were funny. Him blowing kisses at Impact to get him back in the match was funny.
• Lots of slow heel work from Impact, who gets help from Bravo. This match isn’t unfolding how I thought it would.
• Swann lands a great series of dives and flips over the top rope.
• Impact eats floor on a dive, but jumps back in the ring and kicks Swann.
• Starship Pain can’t finish it.
• Swann gets the win with a Phoenix Splash.
• This ended up being really good.

Impact World Championship
Brian Cage (c) defeated Michael Elgin
8/10

• Elgin cuts a good promo about The Machine breaking down.
• Cage has his back targeted heavily early.
• Elgin calls the fans bitches lol.
• Cage’s GMSI is one of my favorite moves in wrestling. He follows with an Electric Chair Drop.
• Elgin manages to dead lift powerbomb Cage, then does a crazy crucifix Last Ride.
• A series of crazy counters leads to a mid-air Canadian Destroyer from Elgin.
• Elgin and Cage are beating the shit out of one another.
• Brian Cage counters a sunset flip with the Bulldog pin for the win.
• Elgin attacks Don Callis after the match
• Impact just heavily implied Rhyno returned to the company. A masked man showed up and gored Elgin. Rhyno said in an interview with @ChrisVanVliet recently that his contract expires on July 17 with WWE.

Intergender Match
Sami Callihan defeated Tessa Blanchard
8/10

• Intergender wrestling isn’t my cup of tea, but I think Impact could do a lot worse than their biggest star in general in Tessa beating their biggest heel in Sami. It’s also an attraction that no other company in the States is running on PPV.
• Tessa flips off Sami and swings away. She’s laying everything in, as she should.
• Tessa gets slung into the barricade and powerbombed onto the apron.
• This is just the speed it needs to be. Sami can work methodically really well and he’s nasty and can take everything Tessa can give.
• Sami does the ol’ clam jam.
• Samoan Drop from Tessa. She also does a tilt-a-whirl DDT.
• Callihan does a great combo, Getouttahere, punt, powerbomb, STF.
• Blanchard gets to the ropes and does the rope hung Magnum.
• Tessa back elbows the ref, and Sami Callihan cracks Tessa with a ball bat. She kicks out and Callihan beats up the second ref.
• Right in the penis, then a bat to the stomach. Magnum hits, but Sami kicks out. Instead, she applies a modified Crossface.
• Callihan counters it into a dudebuster, and Blanchard kicks out.
• Thumbs up, thumbs down from Blanchard, but Callihan wins with a piledriver.
• If Tessa Blanchard doesn’t main event WrestleMania one day, I’d be very surprised.
• Sami Callihan hands a bat to Tessa and gives her the ring.

Rating guide

10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor

Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a “star rating,” which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive “TV match” lands at a 5. The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones. Don’t take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!