Match Ratings For 8/14/20 WWE Smackdown From Sean Ross Sapp

Retribution

• WWE say they have increased security to prevent RETRIBUTION — a group in which they named, broke the news of and have not pursued legal action against within the confines of their fictional program.
• Before Big E vs. John Morrison can get started, Retribution attack.
• Miz checks on Morrison.
• Great! Now have Big E completely destroy every one of these dorks and end the angle.
• Big E and Morrison are backstage with a bunch of other wrestlers.
• King Corbin shows up and says a bunch of dumb King shit, just what this storyline desperately needs right now.
• Big E calls them the foot clan and compares them to Rick James.
• Sheamus gets in Big E’s face and talks trash. He’s wearing a FUNNY COAT, man.

Evan Wright

CA$2.00

Dark Order comparisons are done, this sucks

Top Contender For Smackdown Title Match
Tri Brand Battle Royal
4.75/10

• Sasha and Bayley do introductions and are SHOCKED to see Asuka.
• Of course, more Riott Squad/IIconics stuff. IIconics eliminate Ruby, then Tegan tosses them, then they yank Liv out illegally. A fight ensues.
• I guess hair cutting is more important to Sonya and Mandy, because they’re not here.
• A gassed Tamina superkicks Nikki Cross out…..okay.
• Bianca Belair’s elimination of Tamina was one of the best battle royal eliminations I’ve seen in a long time. It was a Glam Slam over the top.
• Lacey Evans tosses Naomi with a punch, then Shotzi gets Lacey out.
• What’s the point in having refs at ringside if they’re gonna keep letting people get eliminated illegally? Lacey pulls out Shotzi.
• Bianca jumps over the top rope when Tegan moves out of the way.
• Three eliminations from people outside the ring. Coo. What’s the point? Dana eliminates Tegan that way, too. Asuka then runs her ass into Dana and eliminates her.
• I’m really over the cutesy “yeah but the soles of their shoes aren’t on the floor!” spots in battle royals.
• Asuka drags Shayna over.
• The execution here was great, but this was lazy booking.
• Asuka attacks Bayley and Sasha Banks backstage.

Sheamus defeated Shorty G
5.25/10

• Sheamus says Retribution isn’t showing up on his watch, and tells security to leave.
• Sheamus handles things early, but Gable fights back and applies an Ankle Lock.
• After some transitions, Sheamus wins with White Noise and a Brogue Kick.
• Well, no need for Riddle to face Gable at this point.
• Sheamus is on the best roll he’s ever been on? Huh? He is fresh off of losing by DQ, losing a bar fight and getting piss thrown on him!

PISS!

• AJ Styles is backstage arguing with JOSEPH PARK! Awesome.
• In the ring, AJ Styles debuts the Phenomenal Intercontinental Statistic System — PISS.
• Park, the former Abyss, is with him.
• AJ Styles is the only name on the list and he says nobody deserves it.
• Jeff Hardy says he was robbed of his opportunity the tournament. He challenges AJ Styles.
• Styles respects Hardy and says he’s always been good to him.
• AJ Styles and Jeff Hardy’s last one on one match was in July 2013 in TNA.
• Styles says HELL NO.
• Jeff Hardy beats up Styles and signs his name on the board.
• From now on, I want IC title shots to be like a game of capture the flag. You get AJ Styles’ whiteboard and sign your name.
• Styles tries to erase Hardy’s signature, but it’s in permanent marker. Joseph Parks is still with him.

Gran Metalik (w/ Lince Dorado) defeated Shinsuke Nakamura (w/ Cesaro)
5.25/10

• The tag titles are stolen by Lucha House Party.
• The action here is so good, too good to be true.
• Inverted exploder hit.
• Ah there it is. Kalisto is back and attacks Cesaro. Big distraction.
• Nakamura gets pinned.
• Kalisto is fucking ripped.

Other crappenings

• Mandy Rose says she’s heard the detractors all her life. She challenges Sonya Deville to a hair vs.hair match. Sonya accepts the match and says “verse” and “versus” in the same sentence.
• Matt Riddle came to BRO DOWN AND COMPETE. He calls Corbin a ROYAL PAIN. Gable comes and apologizes, but Corbin cracks Riddle with a sceptor.
• Nikki Cross and Alexa Bliss are fine, but Alexa doesn’t seem like she wants to hang out with Nikki that much. There’s a funny video package that wasn’t supposed to be funny of Alexa Bliss saying MAYBE SHE AND BRAUN WILL GET ROMANTIC.

Big E defeated John Morrison
5/10

• Miz sets up a distraction while on commentary that leads to Morrison working over the leg.
• Otis comes out after Miz.
• The lights start going out.
• Retribution is backstage tearing shit up. The mayhem looks a lot more realistic.
• Al the wrestlers came out to ringside for THIS match.
• Just gonna say, Jimmy Hart did this “they’re back there holy fuck they’re back there” angle better. Graves lets them know.
• Tonight’s Retribution angle — albeit still nonsensical — is a giant leap from last week’s and even Monday. Not that it could have got worse, but it was still way better.
• Big E wins with the Stretch Muffler.
• Brogue Kick from Sheamus.
• Braun Strowman comes out bald AF. Sheamus leaves.
• Three of four matches had interference tonight.

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAUN

• Braun Strowman IS BALD. They say it’s another physical change from the Fiend.
• I think Braun just basically said he was gonna EAT HIS ASS FROM THE INSIDE.
• Alexa is there and is HURT.
• Braun says she tried to mold him and make him what she wanted, and that’s not him.
• Everyone the Fiend touches, changes, INCLUDING HER.
• How did Goldberg change when he was in contact with the Fiend? He was still talking about running his head into lockers and shit last week, so let’s run that one back if that’s what it takes.
• Alexa slaps the shit out of Braun. He presses her overhead and Fiend’s music hits.
• He throws her as the lights go out.
• Using the same spot on back to back shows is weird.
• The Fiend appears. Braun is evil laughing on the screen.

Rating Guide
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor

Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a “star rating,” which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive “TV match” lands at a 5. The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones that may change upon a second viewing, or sitting on the match for a period of time. Don’t take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!