Match Ratings For 5/3/2021 WWE Smackdown From Sean Ross Sapp

WWE Raw Tag Team Titles
AJ Styles & Omos (c) defeated New Day to retain the title
5/10

AJ Styles comes out and touts winning the Grand Slam Championship, and says he and Omos have been partying. There’s a really weird throw to a graphic, while New Day and AJ & Omos were already hyping up their match. New Day are really killing time during this promo, but I appreciate Kofi Kingston mentioning that he showed up the night after he won the title to appear on a brand he wasn’t even on.

Kofi Kingston even makes a shove look impressive. Kofi also does the craziest Trust Fall I’ve ever seen and almost eats doody HARD. Omos’ work is kept simple, which is the safe call. His backbreaker could look better, but it still looks brutal from him. AJ Styles gets the pin on Xavier Woods with a Phenomenal Forearm off Omos’ shoulders. This was not great. I wish they would have explained the unecessary automatic tag title rematch by saying New Day graciously gave Omos a title shot in his first match.

EVA MARIE

An Eva Marie return vignette aired. We saw basically a Carls Jr. ad with shitty generic rock, but at least Eva Marie’s delivery was really good. Eva Marie is back right after they cut four very talented women from the main roster and that seems a little odd.

Charlotte Flair defeated Dana Brooke (w/ Mandy Rose)
5/10

Charlotte says Dana Brooke is still her bitch during their match. The work here is okay, but the main point is to get Charlotte Flair a sensible win against the partner of the person she beat last week. Dana Brooke is getting good at hitting the particular spots she needs for a TV match. The highlight was a handspring from Dana that Charlotte countered with a chop block before winning with the Figure Eight. The handsprings looked bad, though. She should probably pass on doing those a while. Just run into the corner and hit an elbow. Mandy breaks it up the Figure 8 after the match and does a goddamn V-Trigger. So you know we’ll get that match again.

Backstage Adam Pearce wasn’t too happy with Sonya, but she comes out after this match and reveals that she has the same power as him. Charlotte bullies Sonya into adding her to the Backlash match for the title.

Rhea Ripley is not good at promos. They are not her strength, but they insist on having her do them because women can’t have managers or something. Asuka comes out and yells. Charlotte attacks Rhea, then Asuka attacks Charlotte. This program stinks.

Pearce isn’t happy with this backstage, and Deville agrees they need to make decisions together.

Damian Priest defeated John Morrison (w/ The Miz)
5.25/10

Eight minutes after his music hit, Miz’s promo started. Miz has hit the point where I just tune him out. Whatever. Nobody needed this promo, and nobdoy needs this feud to continue but at least it’s Morrison and Priest. There’s a cool Spanish Fly from Morrison, but the distraction backfires and Damian Priest wins with his finish. Priest’s necklace breaks off at some point.

There’s at least one “bullying” storyline going at all times in WWE. Humberto has his promo time cut into by Sheamus beating his ass. Mansoor is shown signing a contract backstage, and he’s riding a 49 match winning streak. I think Mansoor will get the Bo Dallas-Barrett push that they TRIED, as Sheamus told him to.

Sheamus defeated Mansoor via DQ
4.75/10

Mansoor takes a sick bump to the outside off a clothesline, and gets press slammed into the barricade. Mansoor fights back and hits a beautiful tornado DDT. Mansoor’s 49 match winning streak ends because Humberto Carrillo gets him DQ’d, then Carrillo gets them both Brogue Kicked. Well, then. Fine in ring match with a shitty ending.

Lucha House Party defeated Shelton Benjamin & Cedric Alexander
5.5/10

Shelton Benjamin and and Cedric Alexander still wearing the Hurt Business colors like a 25 year old still wearing thier high school class ring and letterman’s jacket. The action is solid, as you’d expect. Benjamin going Sirloin Beef Sunsabitch on a clothesline was cool. The finish was unexpected for me. Dorado flied outside and accidentally ate knees, then Metalik beat Benjamin with a top rope elbow drop. Sure. Okay. Cedric is frustrated with the loss and yells at Shelton and says he’s been the weak link. Cedric officially breaks up their team and says they’re done, and so is Shelton.

Angel Garza defeated Drew Gulak
5.5/10

Gulak says Angel Garza can’t score, and Garza told Gulak he’ll be able to smell the roses because he’s gonna shove them up his ASS! This looks like it’s going to be a squash match until Garza gets HEADLOCKED. I thought the double underhook backbreaker was it. Things break down and get really stiff and violent and it rules. Garza wins. This was good for what it was. Nothing you have to see, but good. Oh. Well. He actually shoved the rose up Drew Gulak’s ass. Attitude Era back

RKBro defeated Elias & Jaxson Ryker
5/10

Ryker and Elias plot to throw tomatoes at an injured New Day, but hit Orton instead. He’s seething. Riddle talks to Viking Raiders, and then Orton. Orton isn’t happy with Riddle’s cheeriness, but wants to team again this week. The formula seems to work. Riddle sells a lot, Randy Orton gets tagged in and goes crazy. Elias getting Singh Bombed was impressive. The DDT-Floating Bro gets the win again. The Floating Bro was right to Elias’ face. Ouch.

Other Stuff

Lilly was backstage lurking in the Sonya Deville promo and the Gulak/Angel promo, and Alexa Bliss has her next Playground segment, and says someone caught Lilly’s eyes.

WWE Women’s Tag Team Titles
Shayna Baszler & Nia Jax (c) (w/ Reginald) defeated Lana & Naomi
5/10

Lana has one of her best performance in this match. Her offense looks really good all around here. Reginald DISTRACTION costs her the win. Shayna quickly chokes out Lana. I’m hoping we can move on past this feud now. I’d really like to move on past this team.

Bobby Lashley (w/ MVP) defeated Braun Strowman
4.5/10

We see promos from Lashley, MVP, Braun and Drew McIntyre throughout the night. It’s hinted that Braun will get double teamed.

Drew McIntyre comes out and causes a distraction, which pleases Lashley. Drew joins commentary. I’m liking Lashley beating the hell out of Strowman, because I buy it. I don’t buy it as much when it’s Miz or Elias. Strowman accidentally runs into McIntyre, and Drew is PISSY. This sets up the distraction finish, because the only thing better than one challenger losing before a title shot is both of them losing. Then Drew Claymores both. Okay.

Rating Guide
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor

Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a “star rating,” which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive “TV match” lands at a 5. The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones that may change upon a second viewing, or sitting on the match for a period of time. Don’t take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!