Match Ratings For 3/20/20 WWE Smackdown From Sean Ross Sapp

GRONK

• Michael Cole and Mojo Rawley introduce Rob Gronkowski.
• Holy shit, this guy is already annoying. The music, the condescending dancing that you can tell he thinks is just him being charismatic.
• Gronk talks about being at FCW to watch Mojo when there
• Gronk’s chops are actually pretty solid.
• King Corbin comes out and runs his gimmick. It’s bad. “Get on your knees,” “bow to the king.”
• Corbin doesn’t think Gronk is cut out for this.
• Elias interrupts Corbin. He sings about Gronk beating up Corbin.
• “Best heel in the business” falls for the ol’ table shove.
• Elias throws Corbin over the top rope, and Gronk wants to see Elias vs. King Corbin at WrestleMania.
• I don’t think we need a ninth singles match, but here we are.

Daniel Bryan & Drew Gulak defeated The Artists Collective
5.75/10

• The Artists Collective is the new name for this group.
• Daniel Bryan and Drew Gulak practicing pummeling for underhooks killed me.
• Cesaro highlights with a catching tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and pop-up uppercut.
• Bryan hit a suicide dive early in the match and gets the win with a flying somersault sunset flip.
• This was solid. Gulak and Bryan could help patch a big void left by Revival in an already good Smackdown tag team division.
• Sami Zayn is upset that Bryan is listening to Gulak backstage. Bryan challenges Zayn to an Intercontinental Title match at WrestleMania.
• If Drew Gulak beats Shinsuke Nakamura next week, Bryan will get the title shot. Bryan immediately agrees.

Bayley‘s opponent

• Bayley and Sasha Banks interrupt Michael Cole and Paige (via skype).
• Bayley makes fun of Paige’s accent, which was actually kind of funny.
• They also make fun of Paige for her career being over. Paige gets to announce Bayley’s Mania match.
• Lacey Evans, Dana Brooke, Tamina, Naomi, Sasha Banks are facing Bayley.
• What the hell is Tamina doing in there?
• The obligatory “BITCH” in a women’s promo.
• Sasha leaves.
• They’re doing 200000000000000000 singles matches at Mania, and Bayley vs. Sasha can’t be one of them?

BACKSTAGE HAPPENINGS

• Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross aren’t happy. Alexa challenges Asuka to a match on Smackdown next week.
• We are shown the full Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena match.

Miz & Morrison defeated Heavy Machinery via DQ
5/10
Angle 7/10

• Dirt Sheet sees Miz and Morrison impersonating New Day, Usos and Heavy Machinery.
• This sucked ass.
• Heavy Machinery come out for their match.
• Tag matches really are the best use for John Morrison.
• Miz and Morrison are off beat for their chant.
• There’s a catapult punch that was really bad. Maybe don’t try that on someone 100 pounds heavier than you.
• Dolph Ziggler’s music hits and Otis is distracted.
• Tucker hangs on through the commercial and does a double suplex.
• We see the GLITCH again.
• Dolph distracts Otis during the mid-Caterpillar. He shows Otis some pictures of he and Mandy and trolls him.
• Otis goes after Ziggler but Miz & Morrison come to his aid.
• Otis loses is and smashes both men into stairs, posts, tables. This is great stuff.
• Otis drives the champs through the barricade.
• Tucker pleads with Otis to not use a chair and get them DQ’d. Otis does, and they lose.
• Otis and Tucker were both so good here. Tucker hugs Otis to calm him down.

Contract signing

• Goldberg and Roman Reigns throw their chairs out of the ring.
• Goldberg says he was hoping Reigns would take the challenge but didn’t think he had the balls.
• Reigns calls Goldberg a bitch bulldog in his yard holding a title he didn’t earn.
• Goldberg says he’s been destroying doors with that headbutt for years and Reigns will be the next victim.
• Reigns was good, Goldberg was wack here. Shocker.

Rating Guide
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor

Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a “star rating,” which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive “TV match” lands at a 5. The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones that may change upon a second viewing, or sitting on the match for a period of time. Don’t take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!