Kofi Kingston Tells You How To Get From Your Car To Your House On Crutches While Carrying A Baby
Kofi Kingston had surgery on his ankle two weeks ago and has been recuperating at home with his family, including two small children, and getting around on crutches.
He took to Instagram yesterday to tell a funny story of how this picture came to be:
I'll let him describe it:
So last night we got home from the mall and our youngest son fell asleep in the car. We left him in the seat to finish napping and we went inside. My wife then goes to put our oldest down for bed. I ask her, "What will I do if baby wakes up? How will I get him out?" "Oh, he should be fine," She replies as she takes big brother to bed and closes the door.
I go outside to check on my sleeping son… of course, he's no longer sleeping. So now it's up to me to make like Jason Statham and transport him from the car to the house…while I'm on crutches… I start to summon the will power to do it. I mean, it's only about 12 feet from car door to house door. How hard could it be? Alright, Let's go!
I scoop Lil' one out of the car seat and close the car door. I instantly almost lose my balance. This may have been a mistake…But there's no turning back now. Ever try to move 12 feet with crutches and a baby? Word of advice: Don't.
I slowly and VERY unsurely proceed to hobble from the car to the house: securely holding Lil' one with my right arm, moving the left crutch forward, then squeezing my right armpit, to inch my right crutch forward. Now I cha-cha shuffle my feet to catch up. Left crutch forward, squeeze right armpit, inch right crutch forward, don't drop the baby, shuffle the feet, and repeat. Left crutch, right pit, DO NOT! DROP THE BABY! Shuffle feet, repeat.
I play this game of inches for 2 straight minutes before finally making it to the door. I open it just in time, as baby is slipping! I manage to lower him gently to the floor by his arm, just inside the door. We made it! Now I'm just waiting for him to crawl forward a little so I can close the door. He's not having it. Apparently he's still pretty tired… I try several times to coax him forward, just a foot. Even 10 inches! Come on! Work with me, kid! Who trained you?! I finally put the two crutches in one hand, reached down and grabbed him by his armpit, lifted him up and moved him forward. I close the door behind us. SUCCESS! Lil' one bursts into tears. They should've been tears of joy for the fact that I was able to pull off this miraculous transportation. But instead, he was pissed!
I drop my crutches and get down on the floor with him. I place him on my lap until the crying stops. The long day taken it's toll and he begins to fall asleep on my chest.
Then it hit me…"Oh God!" I think to myself, "Mommy's been putting big brother to bed for at least 15 minutes now… which can only mean one thing: She's fallen asleep too!" I don't want to say that I started to panic, but I kinda started to panic. "If baby does fall asleep on me now, I could be stuck here… for hours!" I've now leaned back on one of our strollers, wheel uncomfortably wedged directly into my spine, while I'm resting my head on the lower undercarriage basket.
People always joke around about 'I've fallen and I can't get up'…and then it happens to you. Trust me when I tell you: That $%^t ain't funny.Upon the realization of my potential fate, my head hopelessly shifts off to the right… oh what's this? 2 packages? Might as well open them. The first is a pair of Jordan Retro 11 lows in Carolina blue and white! Easily one of the best colorways in sports! The second package was a hard copy of my favorite book of recent times, "Shoe Dog" by Phil Knight, creator of Nike.
Wonderful gifts indeed! However, they only served as temporary distractions before I am reminded again the reality of my impending eternal fate. Stuck. My crutches were too far, and even if I could reach them, I still had one comfortably now fully-sleeping baby on my belly.
And so, while a picture may be worth a thousand words, I felt like I needed just a few more to fully capture the treacherous moments where I lay in wait for my wife to wake up and come to my rescue.
Kofi was moved to SmackDown, along with the rest of The New Day, in the Superstar Shakeup. The team will be making their debut once Kofi is entirely healthy and their ranks are complete.
