John Cena Keeps Himself Hairless “From The Ears Down”

Welcome to another nudie edition of

OFF-TRACK with A-TRAIN

in this episode

JOHN CENA LIKES TO KEEP HIMSELF SHAVED ALL OVER.
DOLPHIN SMOOTH.

In a recent interview with PeopleStyle, John Cena said this:

"If I’m pretty, pretty quick with it, I’d say it takes a half hour, but sometimes it’s probably an hour."

Relax, ladies, he's talking about the length of time it takes him to shave his whole body.

Oh, didn't you know? John Cena is dolphin smooth … EVERYWHERE. From his babyface to his baby's bottom. Hairless.

And that takes dedication, and time.

"I’m completely man-scaped from head to toe — from the ears down — so that takes a bit of time. A lot of shaving cream and a very good razor — and time. I have a lot of surface area to cover."

Yup. A half-hour most days, and some days, even twice that. 

It's because he's got to look his best for the WWE Universe. He's even worried about those pesky fine lines. Hey, he's forty now, and he's not getting any younger.

“I’m constantly trying to stay up on fine lines in my skin and that stuff, so I’m a lot more grooming-centric than you would realize. My routine is a lot more than you would think — I’d say it’s a strong 7 ½ out of 10.”

But before you go thinking that WWE's top guy is just some musical-watching, creme-brulée-ing metrosexual (not that there's anything wrong with that) there's a very different reason for all of this. Namely that teenage John Cena got into competitive bodybuilding, where you need to keep yourself shaved so the body oil can work its magic.

“I got into bodybuilding at a young age, when I was like 15 or 16. It’s something that I started, and the first time you man-scape yourself and it starts to grow back, it is so uncomfortable, so I just kept doing it.”

We perhaps should have guessed that Cena was Bigglesworth-ing himself after seeing him in "Trainwreck," or in this video for the Bella Twins YouTube channel:

But still, it's one thing to assume, and quite another thing to hear him say it out loud (or read it in print, in this case).

So there you have it. Tonight, when Cena comes to the ring, you can now picture him totally hairless underneath those jorts.

Hey, John Cena.

NOICE.