Impact Bound For Glory Match Ratings, Analysis, More From Sean Ross Sapp

X Division Championship
Trevor Lee (c) defeated Dezmond Xavier, Petey Williams, Sonjay Dutt, Garza Jr. and Matt Sydal to retain the title
5.25/10

• This is contested under Lucha rules.
• Petey Williams gets a great ovation from the crowd.
• Garza Jr's arm looks like it's hanging on by a thread. Why is he working?
• Trevor Lee hits a GREAT Orange Crush Bomb.
  • There are a few cutesy spots like Garza throwing a shirt on Trevor Lee, a quintiple superkick, and a bad, bad triple suplex.
• This isn't the match I was expecting, but the crowd is into it so far.
• Dezmond Xavier is the highlight of this match, outside of Petey Williams being so over with the crowd.
• A Sharpshooter is applied by Williams, which the crowd adores.
• Trevor Lee steals a win after a Canadian Destroyer. Okay match, and a really good setup for a Lee/Williams feud in Canada.
• They have an Impact decal over the GFW title. Standard procedure until they make a permanent one. ECW, WCW both did that.

Taiji Ishimori defeated Tyson Dux
4.75/10

• This is a Bound For Glory match….. 
• Matthews references Dux being in the Cruiserweight Classic.
• Laurel Van Ness is in the crowd! Yes! This is a match, but the focus is on LVN. 
• Dux and Ishimori tease a stalling suplex spot that goes back and forth, but doesn't play very well. 
• 450 splash gets the win for Ishimori.

Alberto El Patron

• Alberto El Patron is out and they're playing him up as some sort of loose cannon on a mic.They're really pushing it hard.
• The crowd loves him and chants for him.
• They're realllllly trying to get across the "he's unpredictable" stuff on commentary.
• El Patron says Impact screwed him and they have no balls and didn't look for facts. 
• El Patron trashes Borash for not taking up for him. 
• This promo is shitty.

Monster's Ball
If Grado Loses, He Loses His Work Visa
3.75/10

• I like their ring announcer tonight.
• Really uneventful first few minutes. Much of it is spent going WCW style trying to put over the previous segment.
• Cheese grater to the ballsack from Grado.
• There are weapons everywhere. Tacks, trash cans, barbed wire boards.
• Grado gets knocked off the top rope through a barbed wire board outside. Gets lucky and his ass takes all the impact from the barbed wire.
• HAHAHAHAH LAUREL VAN NESS SHOWED UP AND HIT AN UNPRETTIER ON GRADO.
• The lights go out and Rosemary shows up and saves Grado, but Abyss chokeslams Rosemary through tacks.
• The timekeeper screws up and rings the bell after a two count. Oof.
• The saddest Black Hole Slam ever beats Grado.
• Cluster. 

Team Impact (James Storm, EC3 and Davey Richards) defeated Team AAA (Pagano, Texano Jr. and El Hijo Del Fantasma)
5.75/10

• I am from Kentucky, hate country music and love James Storm's theme. R.I.P. Troy Gentry.
• EC3 looks like he'd rather be anywhere in the world besides Ottawa.
• I want team Impact to start a USA chant in Ottawa.
• This is solid early on.
• This is the match I've probably looked forward to the most. Enjoy most everyone in this match.
• EC3 not interested in tagging in to the match. I'll blame it on a sore shoulder, because he's too much of a gentleman to do that. 
• I know EC3 is doing this because he loves Mexico and wants to work there full time.  He's sabotaging team Impact.
• EC3 tagged in and kicked everyone's ass. 
• Pagano's offense consists of really loud fart noises. Howling at James Storm having a WAY better dive than Pagano. He also hits a nice flying elbow drop.
• Future X-Division champion James Storm I hope. 
• Double One Percenter on Texano and Pagano!
• James Storm got the win over Pagano. Pagano was the shits in that match. Everyone else was good. 
• Have Pagano lose in two minutes to Caleb Konley under the Suicide mask at the tapings. 

Impact Tag Team Championships
5150 Street Fight
OVE (c) defeated LAX to retain the titles
5.25/10

• The OVE promos leading to this match were so bad. You can see Konnan trying to squeeze blood from a stone for weeks. 
• We see someone — presumably Sami Calliahan — has attacked someone else — presumably Homicide!
• Matthews is doing the WWE calling moves as "OOH" shit.
• This is a brawl.
• WOW!!!!! Running powerbomb off a stage through a table on Jake Crist!
• Jake Crist superplexed Ortiz, and only Crist hit the chairs. Yep. Not too keen on Jake's chair shots to the head, either.
• Dave Crist saves Jake to no pop after a Powerbomb Blockbuster.
• Sami Callihan shows up — again, to no pop — and piledrives Ortiz through a table. OVE wins. NO HEAT. 
• Looks like a double turn, which doesn't usually work when the crowd doesn't make noises. 

Knockouts Championship
Gail Kim defeated Sienna and Allie to become Impact Knockouts Champion
4/10

• Respect to Gail Kim. I hope she gets her due.
• I guess I don't get it with Sienna. When I see her work TV, it's a lot like she's working an indie. Her strikes are slow, takes forever to set things up, and doesn't look like she's got great reaction time. Everything in slow motion. 
• This just isn't good. I want it to be, but Sienna is just not a good fit. I don't want to pile on, but it's sloppy and slow.
• Gail Kim wins a Super Eat Defeat. 
• Jimmy Jacobs shows up after this match and indicates to the announce team that he works there. 

Six Sides of Steel
American Top Team (Lashley & King Mo) defeated Moose & Stephan Bonnar

• Moose's brother is there lip syncing his theme.
• Impact playing up Colby Covington is smart.
• Hell of a worked punch from King Mo. Lashley turns Moose inside out with a clothesline.
• King Mo is busted open big time. King Mo withdrew from an MMA fight like a month ago
• Mo and Bonnar work MMA style out of the guard and double wristlock, and later the waistlock.
• "GSP" chants at Bound For Glory. I don't think the crowd can see Bonnar and King Mo's ground work.
• ATT runs in, Impact cleans house. Moose just knocked the living shit out of Colby Covington! ATT guys are fun.
• Hartnett eats a Go To Hell of the top rope!!
• Dan Lambert locked Moose out of the cage. Bonnar has to go all JCVD and it doesn't work.
• Awesome dive from the cage from Moose! Lashley spears him and wins, though. 
• Fun match. 

Impact Global Championship 
Eli Drake (c) (w/ Chris Adonis) defeated Johnny Impact to retain the title
5.5/10

• Johnny's striking has gotten better over the years. His offense is looking crisp in the opening minutes.
• There's a sweet flip kick off the apron from Impact. Really bad ass looking move. 
• Holy Jesus at Johnny sliding under the barricade. That was bad ass. 
• Matthews is making a concentrated effort to say "OOH" at this point. Bad broadcasting.
• This crowd sucks. Can't blame them.
• Impact scores a sliding German Suplex. 
• This match is all Impact doing cool stuff and Eli slowing things down and killing the crowd. Reverse rolling Samoan drop for example.
• Spanish Fly doesn't get it done for Impact. Adonis throws Drake the title, and gets hit with it himself. 
• Awkward moment where Impact that to wait for Eli to roll off of his back. Should have been a pin attempt.
• Starship Pain, but Alberto El Patron pulls the ref out. Hebner would have messed Alberto El Patron up for pulling that.
• Impact misses a BIG DIVE to the outside. Sick. 
• El Patron hits both guys, including Impact with a chair shot to the head. Stupid. He drapes Drake over Impact for the win. 
• Terrible.
• That's how you end an episode of Impact, not Bound For Glory. Trash