Wrestling

Match Ratings For WWE WrestleMania 36 Night One From Sean Ross Sapp

Intro

  • Corey Graves and Peter Rosenberg are on the pre-show.
  • I love the amalgamation of former America The Beautiful performances.
  • Stephanie McMahon welcomes us to WrestleMania.
  • Roman Reigns is still in the Mania intro. This is a more comical, green screen intro,
  • I keep waiting for “ARE YA READY…..ARE YA READY FOR A GOOOOD TIME” to hit. But we get another AC/DC.
  • Gronk does a pretty good intro. Mojo Rawley joins him.
  • Paul Heyman cuts a promo about Drew McIntyre.

Cesaro defeated Drew Gulak
6.25/10

  • This is Cesaro’s first ever singles match at WrestleMania. It’s Gulak’s first Mania match ever.
  • There’s some great transitions early on, one into a powerbomb from Cesaro.
  • Michael Cole is alone on commentary.
  • Gulak does a tilt-a-whirl arm drag on Cesaro.
  • These two are tearing it up. They’re slugging it out, going from strike to submission attempt, and
  • Cesaro finds luck with some great European uppercuts.
  • CESARO DID THE UFO!!! And won with it!!
  • Cesaro and Gulak went balls to the wall. That was a good way to kick things off.
  • We need someone else to make a new Smackdown Six with Cesaro, Gulak, Zayn, Nakamura and Bryan.
  • Michael Cole called the hell out of that match all by himself.

WWE Women’s Tag Team Titles
Bliss Cross Applesauce defeated Kabuki Warriors (c) to win the titles
6.75/10

  • I’m a fan of the Kabuki Warriors’ trolling by dancing.
  • The match starts off with some indie teasing so to speak. It gets pretty high flying, pretty fast with some dives to ringside.
  • Bulldog/Basement dropkick hits Nikki Cross hard.
  • We don’t need a hundred camera cuts. Kairi is laying the punches in.
  • Ugh, they do the god damn Del Rio stomp spot.
  • Asuka might be my favorite empty arena wrestler in the world. I reserve the right to change this selection over the next two nights.
  • Nikki hot tags, fires up, rips her vest off and hits a flying body press.
  • What an odd edit cut that was with Sane breaking up the pin after The Purge.
  • Asuka Lock on Nikki, Twisted Bliss to break that up, then Kairi with a spear.
  • Powerbomb/Flying forearm doesn’t get it for Kabuki Warriors. How was that a modified Doomsday Device!? It wasn’t.
  • Bliss pins Sane with Twisted Bliss to win the titles.
  • That Women’s Tag Team Match ruled. The lack of crowd is making WWE’s ridiculous camera cuts more obvious.

Elias defeated Baron Corbin
5.25/10

  • Corbin soaking in the lack of crowd is great.
  • Elias shows up and breaks a guitar over Corbin’s back.
  • The match is official in the ring.
  • Elias is aggressive, but outside of that guitar break, this is an hour one match on a throwaway Smackdown. With all that has happened, why not just run this on Friday? What’s the difference?
  • There’s a terrible looking clothesline where Corbin bumps awkwardly.
  • Elias hits an inverted Drift Away.
  • Elias wins with a ROLL UP after Corbin gets caught cheating on a pin.

WWE Raw Women’s Championship
Becky Lynch (c) defeated Shayna Baszler to retain the title
6/10

  • I’m very interested in what kind of pace this Becky Lynch vs. Shayna Baszler will keep with no crowd.
  • Becky and Shayna slappin’ some ribs with these opening strikes.
  • Disarmher and Kirafuda Clutch attempts before Baszler hits a spinebuster. She follows up with a double underhook suplex variation.
  • Rock Bottom on the apron for Becky, and the obligatory “hardest part of the ring” comment.
  • Baszler slings Becky into the table and OUCH.
  • Baszler applies Becky’s Disarmher, but ends up connecting with a big knee.
  • They’re being really physical in this match.
  • Baszler counters another Disarmher with the Kirafuda Clutch, but Becky gets the pin.
  • Lynch gains the pin. I thought that finish was an anticlimactic one to a really good match. We’ve seen that transition hit on Shayna a lot. The match was a little too short, too.

WWE Intercontinental Championship
Sami Zayn (c) (w/ The Artists Collective) defeated Daniel Bryan (w/ Drew Gulak) to retain the title
6/10

  • Zayn is killing time. The Artists Collective try to help Zayn, but Gulak takes them out.
  • Bryan teases letting Zayn win by countout. Instead he beats the living shit out of Zayn.
  • Zayn is begging, but Bryan takes his head off.
  • Bryan beats Zayn’s ass until The Artists Collective show up again.
  • Zayn catches Bryan off the top rope with a Helluva Kick and wins.
  • I wasn’t as in love with this as many were.

WWE Smackdown Tag Team Championships
Ladder Match
John Morrison (c) defeated Kofi Kingston (of New Day) and Jimmy Uso (of Usos) to retain the titles
8.25/10

  • It’s very clear they didn’t pause for “takes” in this match.
  • Kofi dives from the ropes to the ladder, but gets caught.
  • Maybe the best Starship Pain I’ve ever seen, on Kofi bridged on a ladder in the corner.
  • Kofi almost snagged the top rope on a trust fall tope, but it ends up looking awesome.
  • Kofi then throws a ladder into Jimmy Uso walking on a barricade.
  • Morrison does an incredible Spanish Fly to Kofi, almost into a ladder.
  • I think this is Morrison’s best performance of his current WWE run.
  • Kofi Mushroom Stomps Morrison off the ladder. Uso RAMS Kofi into the ladder.
  • Okay, we have to mic up the Usos for every match now. The trash talk is hilarious.
  • I know they probably took safety precautions on the Uso spot to the outside, but it ended up just looking like bad camera work and production.
  • The lack of crowd hasn’t really caused me to enjoy these matches less. It’s just different. Faster pace, different ways of working.
  • All three men pull down the titles, but they knock Morrison off into a bridged ladder, and he takes the titles.
  • This ruled.

Kevin Owens defeated Seth Rollins
8/10

  • Kevin Owens is beating the brakes off of Seth Rollins.
  • Rollins does a Falcon Arrow on the apron. They’re hitting each other with some heavy moves.
  • Swanton, Pop up Powerbomb both hit.
  • They’re having a really good match.
  • Seth Rollins hits Kevin Owens with a bell for a DQ.
  • Owens says those are the actions of a little bitch, not a god. He wants a No DQ match.
  • Dying at Owens saying Rollins will always be a little bitch.
  • Owens keeps hitting Rollins with the ring bell.
  • Owens jumps off the WrestleMania sign through the table.
  • Owens wins with a stunner
  • This is Seth Rollins’ first WrestleMania in which he won’t have a win.

WWE 24/7 Championship
Mojo Rawley defeated R-Truth to become champion

  • R-Truth is hiding from everyone, but runs into Mojo and Gronk.
  • Gronk tries to win the title, but Mojo pulls him off and wins.

WWE Universal Championship
Braun Strowman defeated Bill Goldberg (c) to win the title
5/10

  • A bunch of spears and Strowman kicks out.
  • A bunch of powerslams and Braun wins. Thankfully.
  • The Fiend was sacrificed for this.
  • Let’s move on past Bill Goldberg and any title belt. Summerslam 2019 was perfect.

Boneyard Match
The Undertaker defeated AJ Styles (w/ The OC)
Angle 8.5/10

  • There’s an Undertaker entrance in the graveyard, but AJ Styles pops out.
  • Biker Taker is back.
  • Undertaker Goldberg’d himself on the window!
  • Taker throws AJ into a winshield and beats his ass before tossing him into a grave.
  • WrestleMania main eventers Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows send druids after Undertaker.
  • My wife is wondering if the pants are shoot pants or work pants.
  • Taker disposes of the cronies, and AJ pops back up. Taker breaks his finger but AJ gets control.
  • The music adds a lot to this. AJ Styles calls Taker a broken down old bitch.
  • Styles cracks Taker with a shovel and into a grave.
  • Styles is on a tractor, but Taker appears behind him.
  • Undertaker explodes a building and beats up The Club on a roof. He throws Gallows off, and Tombstones Karl Anderson on top of it.
  • Undertaker chokeslams Styles off the roof through a piece of wood.
  • Taker is trash talking Styles and says he’s tougher than he thought. Styles apologizes.
  • Taker Sparta kicks Styles in the grave and buries him. There’s a headstone with Styles’ name on it.
  • This was outside the box, different and fun. Styles’ arm is out of the dirt as we close.

Rating Guide
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor

Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a “star rating,” which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive “TV match” lands at a 5. The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones that may change upon a second viewing, or sitting on the match for a period of time. Don’t take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!

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