Welcome to the Live Coverage for
Monday Night RAW 9/12

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Tonight on Raw, according to the official preview on WWE.com:

• Fight, Reigns, Fight

First of all, that’s f*cking BLASPHEMOUS, intern who wrote that.

Second of all, Rusev is costing Roman this match so that there’s a program for the US Title at CofC, right?

Right? Or Jericho gets involved, and costs Roman the match? Or Rollins? Or Triple H? Right?

RIGHT?

Please don’t tell me Roman’s getting ANOTHER chance at the Title.

PLEASE.

• Charlotte fights a war on two fronts

Is this all building to a Charlotte vs Sasha vs Bayley match at CofC?

Because if it is, my birthday is the day after CofC and that would be the greatest birthday present I have ever received.

Since I got a copy of Turtles in Time for the Super Nintendo in like 1992.

• *sigh* Cesaro vs Sheamus again

Okay, I wrote that title myself.

Cesaro beat Sheamus in London with the ugliest roll-up counter of a Cloverleaf that you will ever see.

WOOF.

And now they’re going to fight again.

And Cesaro’s going to win to make it 3-2.

And then he’ll win next week to make it 3-3.

And then they’ll fight at CofC in Match 7 and we might care a little bit by then, but for now:

WOOF.

• Are the Fun & Games over for The New Day?

If it means no more “Old Day” segments then PLEASE GOD YES.

• Do you Bo-Lieve in Bo?

I would have said whole-heartedly Yes, but…

After this video surfaced, maybe not.

It’s ROUGH.

*sigh*

I’m going to miss you, Bo.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand it begins.

_____________________________________________________________

Mick Foley in-ring to start out the show.

He plugs Clash of Champions, gives half-hearted congratulations to Smackdown on Backlash.

He introduces Charlotte. She comes out with Dana Brooke, because Dana has a bad case of Stockholm Syndrome.

Charlotte says she needs to get something off her chest. An apology is in order, she says.

Dana says Charlotte you don’t need to apologize.

Charlotte says I would never apologize to you. You need to apologize to me for embarrassing yourself and embarrassing me.

Sasha comes out.

Bayley comes out.

Both say they have a claim to the Women’s #1 Contendership.

Sasha has a few words for Bayley (when it comes to that championship, I have no friends).

Dana has a suggestion, maybe Sasha and Bayley should face off in a Best of 7 series to see who gets to have a shot at Charlotte’s belt.

Better than Cesaro vs Sheamus, though I’m pretty sure Sasha would be dead or in traction by match number 3.

Charlotte says Dana, who asked you? You open your mouth again tonight, and I’ll slap the taste out of it.

Mick Foley says how bout we have a match tonight, Sasha vs Bayley to see who gets a title shot at Clash of Champions.

Charlotte is indignant, turns to Dana and says This is all your fault!

DANA SLAPS HER ACROSS THE FACE. HARD.

Mick adds Dana to the #1 Contender’s Match.

And that match IS NEXT!
________________________________________

Sasha vs Bayley vs Dana Brooke-#1 Contendership

The match starts out decent, Sasha vs Dana for a while.

Then Sasha gets tossed to the outside, and it’s Bayley vs Dana.

Dana gets his with a doubleteam hip toss off the Irish Whip and rolls to the outside.

We go to commercial with a staredown between Sasha & Bayley.

A COMMERCIAL? NOW? SERIOUSLY?

Back from the break and Sasha isn’t even in the ring.

They sure are teasing this out a bit, huh?

Dana is working over Bayley, gets her up in the Samoan Driver position, but Sasha thwarts.

She hits the Double Knees in the corner on Dana.

Bayley hits a flying cross body off the top, goes for the pinfall, but Dana breaks it up.

HUGE TOWER OF DOOM SPOT, with Sasha powerbombing Dana who’s superplexing Bayley.

Sasha puts Dana in the Banks Statement. Bayley breaks it up before Dana can tap.

Bayley hits the Bayley to Belly, goes for the pinfall, but Sasha rushes in and does Some crazy roll-up pinning predicament.

It was obvious to me that both Bayley AND Sasha’s shoulders were down, but so far they’re just saying Bayley got pinned.

WINNER: Sasha Banks

_________________________________________________________

BACKSTAGE “COMEDY” SEGMENT WITH SHINING STARS AND GOLDEN TRUTH

….

AND ENZO & CASS

This leads to a rematch of E&C vs Shining Stars for later tonight.

Because that was such a barn burner.
_________________________________________________________________

INTERVIEW SEGMENT WITH KEVIN OWENS, THEN CHRIS JERICHO

Highlight of this was Jericho calling Tom Phillips “Philbin”.

Apparently Sami Zayn is going to be on the Highlight Reel tonight.

Let me know what the score is when you flip over to Monday Night Football.

Unless you already have flipped over, in which case I’m just typing to myself.

And now I am sad.
______________________________________________________________________

BO DALLAS’S POETRY SLAM AND SQUASH SESSION

Bo gives a rhyming promo to his opponent, then gives him a beatdown.

There is a “LET’S GO JOBBER!” chant.

Bo wins with his Reverse Cross Rhodes, which I am calling the Cross Bodes.

WINNER: Bo Dallas.

________________________________________________________

HIGHLIGHT REEL W/ CHRIS JERICHO & SAMI ZAYN

So the story is that Kevin Owens was supposed to be Jericho’s guest, but was pulled by Foley.

So Jericho got Zayn instead.

This was a great little segment, “highlighted” — I see what I did there — by Zayn saying that the “old” Jericho was a huge inspiration for him when he was starting out. But now he’s just Kevin Owens’ bitch.

This is followed by Jericho sucker punching Zayn with a smartphone and Codebreaking him.

Looks like we’re probably getting this at CofC.

And I am totally down with that.

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Sheamus vs Cesaro

Cesaro takes control early, almost locking in the Sharpshooter, then nailing his cannonball off the apron.

COMMERCIAL.

Much more of an even match after the break. Very back and forth.

Cesaro gets a two count after a flying cross-body.

Cesaro uppercuts Sheamus about a hundred times, then gets caught and Sheamus hits his rolling senton.

Cesaro able to hit that corkscrew sprinboard uppercut.

Cesaro escapes out of White Noise, rolls through into the Sharpshooter, but he can’t hold it.

Tries the Big Swing, but the back is too weak.

Sheamus goes for his Celtic Cross Backbreaker, but Cesaro rolls up Sheamus, but puts his foot on the ropes for leverage.

WINNER: Cesaro, by cheating.

Why are there even rules, if the babyfaces aren’t going to respect them?
_______________________________________________________________

BACKSTAGE SEGMENT WITH MICK FOLEY AND SETH ROLLINS

Pretty good stuff here.

It ends with Rollins saying that if Foley is going to continue to side with Stephanie, it doesn’t matter what his career has been up to this point, he’ll be remembered as a fool.

Oh, and Rollins promises not to interfere in the match between Reigns and Owens.

We’ll see.

____________________________________________________________

Nia Jax vs Alicia Fox

I am way too excited for this.

HOLY GOD.

Nia Jax smashes Alicia into the barricade via swinging her by her HAIR.

Thrown a good ten feet.

Speared THROUGH THE BARRICADE.

Alicia Fox is not getting up.

Double Count Out?

This was AWESOME.

_____________________________________________________________

Oh, I should have mentioned, that Jericho vs Sami Zayn thing I said we’re probably getting.

Well, they just announced it a while ago.

Still totally down for that.

___________________________________________________________

THE NEW DAY IN-RING SEGMENT.

I’m kind of over the New Day.

They say they burned the footage of The Old Day.

I love the New Day again.

Gallows and Anderson come out and say some stuff about beating the New Day to death with their own unicorn horns.
___________________________________________________________

Gallows & Anderson vs Kofi & Xavier

Non-Title of course.

Back and forth for a while, New Day getting most of the offense in, until Gallows tosses Kofi over the top rope.

Then he nails a Big Boot for a two count, and a huge clothesline before tagging in Anderson.

Anderson methodically making sure Kofi doesn’t relish getting out of bed on Tuesday.

Both Club members keeping Kofi away from his corner.

An assisted Atomic Drop by Gallows & Anderson.

Finally Kofi makes the tag.

Xavier has improved so much. I really like his style in the ring.

Strong Style elbows exchanged by Woods and Anderson.

Big DDT by Woods.

Then a tightrope elbow drop by Woods on Anderson. Gallows breaks up the pinfall.

A few moves later, Woods eats a Magic Killer.

WINNER: Gallows & Anderson

___________________________________________________

ENTIRELY USELESS BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW OF ROMAN REIGNS

Seriously, where is he going when Tom Phillips stops him?

To Catering? To the crapper? Where?

He literally says that he wants to go to Clash of Champions, and that he has to beat KO to get there.

And that’s ALL he says.

We knew that a week ago.

Good interview, Phil Philbin. Always asking the tough questions.
______________________________________________________

JINDER MAHAL is introduced as “The Man Who Comes in Peace”

I guess he’s not doing the ISIS thing anymore.

He starts his promo by saying Namaste. So I guess he’s a Yoga instructor?

He talks about how he found his inner peace in the Himalayas.

And of course, Jack Swagger interrupts, because all foreigners are from another country and therefore jerks who deserve comeuppance.

I hate this so much.
__________________________________________________

Jinder Mahal vs Jack Swagger

Of course, there’s a “USA” and it is terrible.

The match is okay I guess, and ….

…..

…..

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

Jinder Mahal WINS!

He his a Regal Cutter and he WINS!

WINNER: Jinder Mahal.

Well. Color me surprised.
___________________________________________________________

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW SEGMENT WITH JACK SWAGGER

Phil Philbin tells Swagger “It’s no secret that your contract is up soon on Raw, and I just wondered…”

Swagger just looks at him, breathing heavily, then walks away.

THIS IS THE MOST INTERESTING JACK SWAGGER HAS BEEN IN YEARS.

_____________________________________________________________

Enzo Amore vs Epico

Some stuff happens for a while. It is uneventful.

Then …

Big Cass hits a big boot on Primo on the outside.

Epico hits a suicide dive on Big Cass.

Enzo hits a cross body of the top rope to the outside on Epico.

He tries to suplex Epico from the apron back to the inside, but Primo grabs his leg.
Epico falls on top of Enzo. 1-2-3.

WINNER: Epico

Hooray more of this for a while. Hooray.
________________________________________________________________

SUPER HOT FIRE BACKSTAGE SEGMENT WITH KO & ROLLINS

My god these two are great together.

I won’t ruin it for you. Find it and watch it.

Owens is immediately the best heel champ on the mic in YEARS.
_________________________________________________________________

ROMAN REIGNS vs KEVIN OWENS

If Roman wins, he’s added to the Rollins/Owens match at Clash of Champions.

This is great, y’all. Owens trash talking, Roman just being a hoss, it’s great.

Owens is working on Roman’s back, with a bunch of kicks and his huge Senton.

Owens is the mayor of Chinlock City.

Reigns is very strong, and booked to appear even stronger.

He’s setting Owens up for a spear, KO rolls out, Roman follows.
Owens throws Roman into the ringpost.

COMMERCIAL.

More chinlocking after the break. Roman fights out of it.

Reigns goes for a spear, Owens gets of the way, Reigns hits the ringpost.

Owens throws Roman all over the place on the outside.

Rollins runs down and attacks Owens.

Owens wins by DQ?

Foley comes out and orders the match to be restarted.

Rollins is escorted to the back with Foley.

Reigns has renewed life. Some hard punches to the jaw and a big Samoan Drop.

Roman gets KO in position for a Superplex. Owens BITES Roman under the arm.

Roman hits a big punch, goes for it again.

Owens reverses it into his twisting Fisherman Suplex. Two Count.

Bull Frog Splash. TWO COUNT.

Reigns puts up a fight, but gets Superkicked back into the corner.

Owens mocks the “OOO-AH” taunt, then misses a Cannon Ball.

Reigns goes for a Spear, gets kicked in the face.
IMMEDIATE SUPERMAN PUNCH.

TWO-COUNT.

Owens rolls out to the floor, supporting himself on the apron. Drive-by Dropkick.

Back inside the ring, Owens hits a couple of kicks, then two Cannon Balls in the corner.

Goes for a Pop-Up Powerbomb, Roman leapfrogs it, rolls up Owens, then does his armbar powerbomb thing.

Two Count.

RUSEV RUNS IN, gets punched.

Owens hits the Pop-Up Powerbomb.

1-2-3.

WINNER: KEVIN OWENS

After the match Rusev beats the crap out of Roman, then locks in the Accolade.

PAYBACK IS A BITCH, MR. REIGNS.