Match Ratings For WWE Smackdown Live 5/22/18, Podcast Notes From Sean Ross Sapp

The Miz defeated Big E (w/ New Day)
5.75/10

• The Miz kicks off Smackdown and talks about Money in the Bank.
• They dick around for ten minutes about who is going to face Miz tonight. This is a giant waste of time. Miz puts over Xavier Woods' channel.
• This feels like it goes on forever. Miz is sick of the jokes. He isn't wrestling any of them. New Day shame him with pancakes.
• Miz runs into Paige backstage, and Paige makes him go back out and face Big E. 
• During the commercial, Miz cut a promo about Smackdown being a "Billion dollar franchise"
• After Big E spanks Miz, New Day serves as Big E's cornermen and feeds him syrup.
• Big E's splash is HORRIFYING. He suplexes Miz about 82 times all across the ring before getting a uranage for 2. 
• The Bar come down and attack New Day, causing a distraction and win for the Miz. Kofi launched himself off Cesaro to attack Sheeamus, which was pretty cool. 
• Since November 2015, Big E has only lost ONE 1v1 match on TV, which was to Rusev. His second was tonight to the Miz.

Money in the Bank Qualifier
Lana (w/ Aiden English) defeated Billie Kay

• I love Aiden English accompanying Lana to the ring and giving her a special intro. It's so natural and babyface and great.
• If Lana could even be passable in the ring, she'd be a big star.
• IIconics come out and sing a duet about Lana being a loser.  They slap Aiden, and Lana rushes to his aid.
• Lana with a huge kick and a facebuster! She wins! Man, that facebuster looked bad. Billie Kay barely left her feet. 
• The crowd is going nuts. How will a Lana Money in the Bank appearance work? 
• Lana has worked about 70 matches in the past year, so at least there's that.

Andrade Cien Almas (w/ Zelina Vega) defeated Local Wrestler

• I hope all this talk of the "finest" for Andrade Cien Almas means they abandoned that shitty Hawaiian Wade Barrett deal for Kona Reeves.
• Almas wrecks this jobber. This back elbow was sick. Double knees in the corner. Hammerlock DDT. Damn.
• The crowd might have reacted better if this run was prefaced with real vignettes instead of selfie promos.

Backstage Crappenings

• Carmella is wearing an Asuka mask backstage. Carmella SWERVES Dasha Fuentes and calls her a hater.

Styles/Nakamura

• Styles and Nakamura are in the ring, and Nakamura throws to a video, but it's actually kind of funny to see him do.
• Styles wants to know the stipulation, but Nakamura just keeps talking trash and saying they'll have a pillow fight. The crowd wants a pillow fight.
• This is Nakamura's best promo in WWE, and maybe ever in English, in my opinion. 
• A brawl breaks out and Styles gets cracked with a chair and a Kinshasa.
• Eventually, it's revealed that they'll have a Last Man Standing Match.

Top Contender Match
Gallows & Anderson defeated The Usos
6/10

• Gallows and Anderson say Usos have blown it against the Bludgeon Brothers repeatedly. They call the Usos nerds and a brawl breaks out.
• I will take Anderson's flying neckbreaker over a blockbuster any day. He kicks one of the Usos off the rop rope. 
• Anderson and Gallows have both gotten into the best shape they've ever been in.
• Gallows kicks out of a superkick and an Uso Splash, but the commentary team barely sells it. That's their damn finish that has won titles.
• Gallows and Jey trade superkicks. Magic Killer. Win!

Money in the Bank qualifier
Naomi defeated Sonya Deville (w/ Mandy Rose)
5/10

• I don't remember so many television regulars having such trash themes int the Jim Johnston days, but then again, the roster was a lot smaller. 
• There's a pretty fun, different opening series between Deville and Naomi that sees Naomi do the splits, and Deville tackle her hard.
• Naomi and Sonya Deville trade kicks at the same time, and you really see the difference in quality. 
• Naomi rolls up Deville for the win. 

Daniel Bryan defeated Jeff Hardy
6.5/10

• Samoa Joe joins commentary. We saw Big Cass on crutches backstage earlier. 
• Maybe don't bring up what Jeff Hardy "gets high off of" on commentary, Byron.
• Jeff Hardy gains the advantage before the commercial. 
• The crowd has been hot all night. After a top rope battle, Hardy hits a Whisper in the Wind. Bryan took care of himself on that one. 
• Bryan goes after the knee of Hardy, but misses the last Yes Kick. Eventually he'll need to pivot.
• A Twist of Fate lands, but Hardy CRUSHES Bryan's knees on a Swanton. Bryan finishes off a Yes kick. 
• Hardy is wrapped up in a heel hook and taps out!!!
• Samoa Joe taunts Bryan on the mic as the show ends. Well, it's Bryan vs. Joe next week.