Match Ratings For WWE Raw (1/1/18): Sean Ross Sapp’s Analysis And Notes

Opening Segment

• Kurt Angle welcomes us to WWE RAW, and reveals that the women's Royal Rumble will have the same rules as the men's.
• Cesaro is sans mouth guard just days after I was told how funny Vince McMahon thinks it is. He and Sheamus aren't happy about the nepotism.
• Jason Jordan isn't happy about nepotism, and gets a match with Cesaro. Seth Rollins comes out and says Jason Jordan has a lot to learn, and he's out here to see Jordan lose.

Jason Jordan (w/ Seth Rollins) defeated Cesaro (w/ Sheamus)
6/10

• Jordan's dropkick is great, and I'm very much looking forward to Cesaro vs. Jordan matches.
• Jason Jordan has to get some gear that makes him not look like he's the leader of The Bar.
• Cesaro works over Jason Jordan's leg masterfully.
• Rollins being a wiley vet taking a youngster under his wing rules. This isn't a pair I thought I'd see, and I like that. I want to see new, different combinations.
• Rollins intercepts Sheamus, and Jordan hits his finish for the win. Solid stuff.

Bray Wyatt defeated Apollo Crews (w/ Titus Worldwide)

• Apollo hits the old hilo, which I love.
• I like Booker T calling out Apollo Crews for grabbing a headlock while he was on a roll.
• A rope hung jawbreaker from Wyatt hits, and looks nice. 
• This is a fine match, the result is just never in doubt.  Apollo Crews does well, and gets clotheslined and body pressed out of his boots. 
• Dana Brooke has never been better on the WWE main roster, and she falls onto Titus O'Neil. This was hilarious.
• Apollo Crews almost comes back, but eats Sister Abigail for the loss. 
• We get a Woken promo after and Bray Wyatt sells it so well.

Backstage Crappenings

• Nia Jax taking Enzo chicken noodle soup! Fantastic. Alexa Bliss needs her, but she says her soup is getting cold after Alexa tries to make her choose.
• Samoa Joe says Dean Ambrose is living off his wife's paycheck in the middle of an awesome promo.
• The Club is back together! What a great pop for those three. Balor is in the Rumble. So is Bayley. Absolution, too.

Asuka defeated Alexa Bliss 
4.25/10

• The two start off with some decent chain wrestling
• Asuka's ass taunts and offense seem so out  of place for her character.
• It looks like a cue was missed for a commercial, because the spot was set up, Michael Cole sounded like he was throwing to one, and Bliss powdered out again.
• Alexa's rope hung kick on Asuka is nice. The bow and arrow on the post sets up Alexa attacking the back really well with a hair pull backbreaker.
• Alexa Bliss pulls out a guillotine, but the crowd doesn't care about it. Alexa gets mad and ends up taking two dropkicks as badly as I've seen in a while before actually letting one connect with her. 
• There's like a hip-toss GTS that misses Alexa by a mile that the commentators sell big time.
• Asuka submits Alexa.
• The oft-missed offense really ruined that for me.

Braun Strowman defeated Rhyno (and kind of Heath Slater)

• Heath Slater's theme represents he and Rhyno (two men) by referring to both one and three man bands. 
• Strowman kills Rhyno, then gets mad that Slater is on the apron.
• Strowman says "get these hands" in a promo urging Heath Slater to join the match.
• Slater and Rhyno gain the advantage for a second, then they die. 
• Braun.
• I just don't know how WWE could avoid having Braun Strowman as a dominant champion that tears shit up all the time. Isn't this guy the WWE wet dream anyway? Just do it. I'll take Reigns vs. Braun No DQ at Mania.
• He kills Heath Slater and Rhyno some more. 

WWE Intercontinental Championship
If Roman Reigns Gets DQ'd He Loses the Title
Roman Reigns (c) defeats Samoa Joe
6.75/10

• These two have great, hard-hitting chemistry.
• I'll keep saying it — Reigns' clotheslines aren't good. 
• Not a lot stands out here. It's just good, upper card level work. 
• Why do they even have Roman Reigns tease using the stairs? It's dumb, 1990 pandering. 
• Back inside the ring, the crowd is really hot. Joe shoved Reigns into the ref, who threatens to DQ him. 
• Reigns is really the master of the 2.99999. He's gotten so good at kicking out at just the right time. (In b4 "hes had so much practice hurdurr).
• Coquina Clutch gets countered into a spear. Reigns retains.

Cedric Alexander & Goldust defeated The Zo Train
5/10

• Drew Gulak cuts a promo for Enzo Amore, which is really good. Cedric Alexander wants a match tonight. They say they'll give him a tag team match. GOLDUST comes to side with Cedric Alexander.
• What an awkward way to start a match.
• I wonder if agents, wrestlers, whoever realize that someone getting beaten up when they turn their back on someone isn't seen as sympathetic these days. Nobody wants to identify with being a dumbass. 
• Goldust and Gulak mess up a running bulldog spot, but Goldust gets "you still got it" chants. He takes about a year to set up a body press.
• Lumbar Check, win.

The Balor Club defeated Elias & Miztourage

• Miztourage announces Miz is returning next week.
• The first time Balor has teamed with Anderson and Gallows since March 2014, I believe.
• Balor looks thrilled. There's also some motivation in Gallows I've not seen in a while. Last time I remember him in the ring, he didn't look so great. 
• Magic Killer/ Coup De Grace gets it done, and Anderson hits a slingshot body press.

Lesnar

• You've heard a Paul Heyman promo before. It was good. 
• Kane comes down to the ring and Chokeslams Lesnar.
• Lesnar sat up, laughed and cracked Kane with the title. Both men sailed over the ropes.
• Nobody does a pull apart brawl better than Lesnar.