WWE Raw Match And Segment Ratings, Analysis, Notes From Sean Ross Sapp (10/9)

The Mizzies

• Bo Dallas is absent. Wut da hayo.
• Miz hands out awards to Curtis Axel and The Bar. They all take turns talking trash rather well until Miz gives himself an an award. 
• Roman Reigns needs new music if this reunion is going to continue.
• Reigns says the rumors of a Shield reunion aren't rumors. Big pops all around. 
• They kick a bunch of ass, but Seth Rollins has to hold Sheamus forever.
• Triple Powerbomb. Fist. How do you not cue up the Shield version of the music there?
• There's a hilarious "Roman watches Chrisley Knows Best" sign.

Jason Jordan defeated Karl Anderson (w/ Luke Gallows) 
4.75/10

• Jordan is out here solo tonight, and they're still trying to babyface him. They're still trying to heel Gallows and Anderson, too. It's not working on either account.
• Karl Anderson looking for a tag when he's beaten up is excellent.
• Anderson whiffing on his corner spot was really great. 
• Jordan dead weights Anderson and gets his finish. Wow. 

Backstage Crappenings

• Miz mocks Kurt Angle asking if he has any injuries. 
• There's a lame women's backstage segment where they all interrupt each other. Alicia Fox is as good as Sasha Banks is bad in this. 

Elias defeated Apollo Crews (w/ Titus O'Neil)
5/10

• Titus gets a great reaction for his interruption and song. Elias being interrupted again, though — come up with something new.
• Elias has great reactions to this.
• We see a lot of offense out of Apollo, but he loses again. 
• Why isn't Elias getting title shots at this point? He's been pinned once.

Enzo and Angle

• Enzo calls out Kurt Angle, referring to him as "Sexy Kurt." That promo was about 13 years ago so many probably just think Enzo finds him sexy. 
• Hose me down. Kurt Angle explained that cruiserweights have their own contracts. Awesome. That explains why Kalisto can beat up Enzo.
• Enzo is acting like a spoiled, entitled star. It fits so well. He's good at it as he is most things on the mic. 

Braun Strowman defeated Matt Hardy
5.75/10

• Oh no. Poor Matt.
• Matt's offense is ugly, but watching him bounce off the ropes with his awkward hip sockets is entertaining. The fact he's wrestled his whole career like that is incredible.
• Matt Hardy is getting honest to god chants against Braun Strowman.
• WWE has been underrated in their consistency of in-ring bookings at time. Braun isn't technically sound and sometimes has a tough time with veterans.
• A tornado DDT gets a big pop, as does the Twist of Fate. KICKOUT AT ONE!
• Chokeslam, chokeslam, powerslam. Braun wins.
• Matt Hardy had a better match with Braun Strowman than Brock Lesnar.
• Don't have Strowman beat Lesnar and be a great champion, just have him beat the rest of the roster I guess.
• Braun Strowman tearing up everything and everyone should have been what brought the Shield out in the first place. They show up and kick his ass anyway. 
• God dammit they brought back those stupid camera cuts. 
• The Shield's presence gives WWE cameramen Parkinson's
• Shield powerbomb through the table.
• Backstage, Miz gets Angle to let him get another partner…it's Braun!!

Mickie and Alexa

• Mickie James is out and goes off on Alexa. She sounds like a woman angry about being called out on Facebook and it works.
• Alexa comes out and trolls Mickie with a funny old-timey tribute video. Great.
• Mickie James and Alexa avoid contact as Alexa pulls the ol' pretend walk to the ring, then back away

The Brian Kendrick & Jack Gallagher defeated Cedric Alexander & Mustafa Ali
4.75/10

• Harmless match. Gallagher throws a great dropkick for a guy in that outfit.
• Are those work clothes or shoot clothes. How does he dropkick like that in those?!
• This is probably the first time many Raw viewers ever learned Gallagher is a heel.

SISTER ABIGAIL

• Finn Balor isn't afraid of Sister Abigail. It's a good thing, because she's on the titantron rambling her ass off. 
• Is Sister Abigail a bee? She sounds like one and she talks about pollinating flowers and shit
• Finn Balor sold the Sister Abigail thing like Hurricane Katrina just hit. This is so dumb

Winner faces Asuka
Emma defeated Sasha Banks, Alicia Fox, Bayley and Dana Brooke
3/10

• This could be fun or terrible.
• Michael Cole doesn't know the rules of the match. Yikes
• Dana and Apollo among the most pointless call-ups ever. Dana is still as green as goose shit. 
• Dana gets beaten really quick by Bayley. Then Bayley pinned by……….Alicia? Well. Cool. I like Alicia.
• There's some sloppy offense in this, but I'm a sucker for Sasha's knee moves.
• Sasha taps out Fox. Emma uses a sloppy roll up to pin Sasha. 
• Good win for Emma, good reason to give her a win, good spot. Match sucked but whatever.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Lumberjack Match
Kalisto defeated Enzo Amore (c) to become WWE Cruiserweight Champion
6/10

• "I'm not over so here are some hispanic guys who were! Cheer me!"- Kalisto before this match.
• Sometimes I forget how good Kalisto is in the ring. For what Enzo does, I think he's fine. 
• Booker T explaining the cruiserweight division's motivation for Kalisto winning is good, until the heels attack him. Like, don't they all hate Enzo?
• Enzo has some cool offense in the corner stomp and the schoolboy into the buckle.
• Breathtaking superplex to the outside of the ring onto the lumberjacks! 
• Enzo Amore has been delivering weekly as the main event.
• Mustafa Ali pulls Enzo out of the ring after his finish. Super Salida Del Sol! 
• New Cruiserweight Champion. That was a lot of fun.
• It was a good idea to highlight this division on this night.