Wednesday Wrestling Wreaction, 8/10: NXT, CWC: Got His Nose; Please Sign Cedric
Welcome to the inaugural Wednesday Wrestling Wreaction,
Also known as the WWW or The Triple W, or the Triple Dub.
Every week, I will be giving you my thoughts about all the happenings on NXT and the CWC.
We’ve got a lot to go through, so let’s get started.
NXT
The Empress of Tomorrow vs Everybody’s Kid Sister
The women’s title match contract signing wasn’t as eventul as the last one, when Nia Jax powerbombed the stuffin’ out of Asuka, but it was better from a storytelling point of view.
FIrst of all, before we get too far into this thing, how about this dude in the second row giving a thumbs down to Bayley.
You’re a bad person, sir. I say this without hesitation. If you give Bayley the double thumbs down, you’re a bad person. Period. End of argument.
I mean, do you also give the double thumbs down to Sunshine and Rainbows? What’s your day job, drowning kittens? Or is that more of a hobby?
Sheesh.
All right, now that I’ve gotten that off my chest.
Asuka is undefeated, including a victory over Bayley at Takeover Dallas where Bayley passed out in the Asuka Lock. Her first real title defense was against new Raw recruit Nia Jax back in June and all she did to the most powerful woman on the roster was to kick her head clean off her shoulders. They call her the Empress of Tomorrow.
Bayley is a hugger. She’s your kid sister all grown up and determined to bring as much joy into people’s lives as possible, while participating in bad-ass women’s wrestling matches. If the ‘E handles her correctly on the main roster, she’s going to make them a metric ton of money. Actually, if my math is correct, that would only be about 108 million dollars, which honestly seems low.
That kitten-drowner up there notwithstanding, it’s almost impossible not to love Bayley, especially when you know her whole history leading up to when she first won the NXT Women’s Title at NXT Brooklyn a year ago. If you don’t know it, or you just want a refresher, here is a helpful music video:
Shut up. I’m not crying. You’re crying. Shut up.
I love wrestling.
Anyway, a year later, she’s facing the woman who took her title, at the place where she first won it. She’s trying to become the first ever Two-Time Singles champion in NXT history. She probably won’t. All the speculation states that she’ll lose to Asuka, who will turn full heel, and Bayley will be up on the main roster by the fall.
If that’s the case, I don’t think you can argue that she’s had the most impactful, most storied run in the history of NXT.
And that guy gave her the double thumbs down.
Sheesh.
PAPA. ECHO. ECHO. PAPA. SIERRA.
I call these guys Paul Ellering’s Ethnic Pseudo-Shield, or PEEPS.
PEEPS are a fantastic monster tag team, and they are sorely needed in the Smackdown Tag Division. They’re still rough around the edges, a little green, but I hope they improve quickly enough to get a call-up in time to challenge American Alpha for the Smackdown Tag Belts at Wrestlemania. There’s unfinished business between those two teams.
No unfinished business here though.
They’re facing the glorious jobber tag team of Rob Ryzin and Adrian Nails.
Ryzin & Nails also sounds like the title of an alternate draft of Tango & Cash.
The PEEPS destroy these guys.
I mean, I have legitimately never seen this before:
Then they murder poor Rob Ryzin.
His father Terra must be absolutely distraught right about now. He blames himself for letting his son get into the business. What a tragedy.
(Google it.)
After the match, The PEEPS continue the beatdown, and who runs out to make the save?
I’ll give you three guesses.
Nope, not American Alpha. (That would have been awesome, though. Too bad.) Guess again.
Nope, not Gargano & Ciampa. Theyd be the next most logical choice, but no. Guess again.
Nope, not The Lucha Dragons.
It’s TM61! Everybody’s favorite tag team that nobody cares about yet!
You might remember that two weeks ago, after a match with Ryzin & Nails, TM61 shook hands with the jobbers as a sign of respect.
You might also not remember that, since the crowd at Full Sail sure didn’t, and I’m pretty sure it happened at the SAME TAPING.
The crowd just collectively does this:
I don’t know if this was taped before the draft, or whatever, but they almost certainly expected to hear A.Alpha’s music hit.
Anyway, TM61 gets sent back to Australia in an Ambulance Boat.
Seriously, just have A.Alpha show up at NXT Takeover Brooklyn and challenge these mofos to an impromptu match. I want it. Give it to me.
Oh, goddammit, at least don’t make him wear the frigging suspenders.
Listen. We want to cheer for this guy. Really we do. But you just make it so hard. From his nonsensical, stupid stupid entrance attire to the fact that you haven’t even TRIED to give him a personality, to the fact that you debuted him against Tye Dillinger and expected us to get behind the new guy because what, he’s got nice hair or something?, you’ve made it nearly impossible for this guy to get over. What a waste. At least he’s wrestling Angelo Dawkins this week, a man whose lone defining character trait seems to be “Wears Two Headbands.” We’ll cheer Almas over that guy, no problem.
But even though you listened to us when we told you that the running double knees in the corner was a stupid finisher, and he’s now using it as a set-up move, which is fine, now you’ve got him slapping his thighs before he does it, like he’s a tiny latin Rikishi or something?
Admittedly, that knew Hammerlock Reverse Russian Leg Sweep STO DDT thing is pretty dope, but it needs a cool name. How about this? Since “Almas” means “Souls,” you could call it the Soul Reaver DDT.
Where my Playstation 1 fans in the house?
Matter of fact, you decided to call this guy Cien Almas. 100 Souls. And then you said, let’s make him a babyface? What is wrong with you people?
I’ll bet for the next Takeover, you’re going to give him another heel opponent that we all love to cheer for, aren’t you?
Oh, for f*ck’s sake.
Bobby Roode comes out, sarcastically congratulates Almas on the victory, and then informs him that they’ll be facing each other at Takeover Brooklyn II: Judgment Day, and I swear NXT is actively trying to bury Almas at this point.
Bobby Roode is going to be the most over guy in the whole of NXT, not named Shinsuke Nakamura, inside of a month. You gave him the greatest theme song in the history of wrestling. He’s a known commodity, talented in the ring and great on the mic, and now you want us to Boo him? In his NXT debut match, against a guy we’ve never been given a reason to care about?
Poor Cien Almas. He never had a chance.
Fatal femme.
Look, I’m all for giving Billie Kay a push to see where it goes. But you’ve got to give me more to go on than “She likes opera, maybe” and “She looks like Psylocke from the X-men, kind of” and “One time she lost to Dana Brooke on Smackdown.” Those are not reasons to care about a wrestler. Besides, if you’re going to give her a push, you might want to include her in the opening montage, like you did for her opponent this week.
What? You didn’t know that Liv Morgan is in the opening montage?
There she is. All five frames of her.
Her shirt reads “Stay Brutal” and what a coincidence, that’s what this match was.
If this is where the NXT Women’s Division is after Alexa, Nia and Carmella got called up, if it consists of super-unbeatable champ Asuka, on-her-way-out-the-door Bayley, these two, and I don’t know, Santana Garrett, I guess, we’re in more trouble than we thought.
I have confidence in you ladies, I know you’ll keep improving but this match was a “yikes” with a capital WHY.
Billie Kay wins with a big boot to the boobs of Liv Morgan, because I guess she can’t get her foot all the way up to Liv’s face, way up there four-and-a-half feet off the ground.
DON’T GO BAYLEY WE NEED YOU.
Oh no, wait, no we don’t.
Assassin’s Creed: Sisterhood.
So hyped for Ember Moon to show up with her Assassin’s Creed hood and presumably her hidden wrist blades and have a program with Asuka where they fight to the death.
WOMEN’S WRESTLING.
So sayeth the prophecy.
Of Non-GMO Grapefruits and Brass Knuckles on Velvet Pillows.
Austin Aries demands that he have a match at Takeover Brooklyn II: Back in the Habit, and Commissioner William Regal grants his request; he’ll be facing No Way Jose.
That’s what this segment is about, but that’s not why its important.
1. Aries literally has grapefruits. Non-GMO grapefruits.
2. William Regal has a set of Brass Knucks resting on a velvet pillow on his desk, like other men might have a World’s Best Boss trophy or one of those weird things where the metal balls clink back and forth.
I cannot begin to describe how much I love this.
The Best Friendships Can Withstand Anything, Even Attempted Murder.
Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa are fresh off of trying to kill each other last week on the CWC, so naturally they get a Tag Championship match for Takeover Brooklyn II: Secret of the Ooze.
To celebrate they go out and surgically dispose of a Big White Dude in a hoodie and a Shredded Black Dude with his own face airbrushed on his tights.
Note: The Big White Dude is Tucker Knight, and he’s been teaming on the house shows with another Big White Dude named Niko Bogojevic.They are calling themselves Heavy Machinery. On the strength of that tag team name alone, I cannot wait for their TV debut. I am a sucker for a good tag team name.
Anyway, yeah, Gargs&Champs slice through these two like a hot chainsaw through butter.
I want them to beat the Revival at Takeover Brooklyn II: Dream Warriors, so that the Revival can get called up to Smackdown immediately to fight with American Alpha, and Gargs & Ciamps can try to keep the PEEPS away from the belts for a couple months by just kicking them as hard as they can in the hopes that eventually they’ll go away.
The End of The Hype.
Last week on NXT, Samoa Joe interrupted a Mojo Rawley match, attacked him, threw him out of the ring, and proceeded to cut a promo on both Regal and Nakamura. Mojo didn’t like that too much, and stood up for himself. Samoa Joe choked him out for his insolence. This match is Mojo’s retribution.
It’s amazing how much that little bit of story can add to a match like this.
Mojo never backs down in this fight, even taking it right to Samoa Joe, and responding to headbutts with yelling in Joe’s face.
I like Mojo Rawley, I don’t care what anyone says, and if this was his swan song in NXT, he went out like a champ. He fights out of the MuscleBuster, as well as the Coquina Clutch:
He even debuts a new power move, sort of a Full Nelson into a Uranage. I hope that shows up in a Hype Bros match on Smackdown, because it looks dope as hell.
He fought valiantly, but he got caught trying one too many Mojo Splashes, got spiked, and got choked out by Joe, who screamed “NAKAMURA!!!”. just to seem like that much more of a crazy maniac.
And because Nakamura was backstage looking for Joe,
and because he has good manners, he came when he was called.
He approaches the ring, Joe has actual steam coming out of his ears, and about 47 security guys come out to hold Joe back. It’s a good thing too, because Nakamura does this:
and I think if Joe had gotten ahold of Shinsuke right then, he would have torn out his throat with his teeth.
Speaking of which, I really can’t wait for Takeover Brooklyn II: The Legend of Curly’s Gold. It’s gonna be awesome
CWC
If you missed last week’s recap, click here.
If you missed my HUGE Bracketology Preview, click here.
Tajiri vs Gran Metalik
This was a great match, a contrast of styles, youth versus experience, agility vs precision. I loved it.
It was not even close to being the best match on the episode.
Tajiri did stuff like this:
and this:
and it didn’t matter.
Gran Metalik did stuff like this:
and this:
and as spectacular as that stuff was, it didn’t matter.
This was a classic case of something great being overshadowed by something TRANSCENDANT.
High hopes for Gran Metalik, though. Maybe when they finally future endeavor Hunico, Gran Metalik can be the new SIn Cara, and they can get the Lucha Dragons back together.
Also, big ups to Tajiri, who looks like he can still go, even at age 46.
Metalik wins after Tajiri misses the Buzzsaw Kick and gets nailed with Metalik’s finisher, aptly named the Metalik Driver:
And now for the transcendant stuff.
Kota Ibushi vs Cedric Alexander
This is the transcendant stuff.
And I don’t mean the wrestling. Rather, I don’t just mean the wrestling.
The wrestling was amazing, too.
Watch the match in gif form:
And that’s it. That’s the match.
Sixteen minutes of amazing high spots, skilled counter-wrestling, brilliant in-ring storytelling and absolutely superior showmanship.
But that’s not the transcendant part.
The transcendant part comes after.
After Cedric Alexander turns in one of the best performances of the tournament—in a loss, mind you—the crowd is chanting his name, chanting “Cedric!, “chanting “Thank You!,” and you can clearly see how overcome with emotion he is. He starts to exit to the back, and the crowd begins to chant “Please Sign Cedric!,” imploring the powers that be in NXT to offer this man a contract so that they, the crowd, will have the privilege of seeing this man perform again in this very arena. Cedric hears this, and turns back, tears welling up in his eyes as he bows to the crowd with appreciation.
And then, behind him, appears Triple H. Cedric doesn’t see him yet, but the crowd does, and they go ballistic. Cedric isn’t sure why until he gets a pat on the back from the NXT boss, who mouths to the crowd “Okay,” answering their request with an affirmative response. Trips offers the young wrestler a hand shake and takes him to the back, turning around one last time to give a thumbs up and a wink to the crowd as if to say, “You wanted him, you’re going to get him.”
They got it all on tape, and if you haven’t yet, you simply must watch it:
God, I love wrestling.
Until next time, I’ve been Alex Pawlowski and you can follow me on Twitter @pawlowskithe4th
